i am a great listener. you can talk to me if you want
skylar
hi... I feel like someone summoned me!
Moonmin05
1
heya! how can i help u ...u can tell me if u need
skylar
meanwhile - our host replies.... how are u guys doing?
Moonmin05
1
oh @Skylar thats a good one
johndoe1998
hey... what's up?
thrilledfalcon25
1
busy with workloads... and certainly less depressed
obsessedtortoise4
I don't know how to chat privately
Moonmin05
u can't chat privately here as it's not a function of the app
skylar
1
well, it's a public comment u can't really chat privately here.
thrilledfalcon25
1
we are all anonymous, so it doent matter, if u dont mind
Moonmin05
if u want to talk privately u can use insta , telegram or email options of someone whom u want to talk
skylar
1
@25- I'm glad u r doing better🙂
thrilledfalcon25
thanx
obsessedtortoise4
ok it's a long story can I share?
thrilledfalcon25
proceed
Moonmin05
yeah absolutely
skylar
yeah, you can
obsessedtortoise4
I don't know from where to start but let me tell u these one guy is sincerely loving me..but I don't have feelings on him
obsessedtortoise4
but I was in relationship with him for 2 yrs without feelings
obsessedtortoise4
thinking that I would get feelings on him
obsessedtortoise4
but I never got...and the main problem is my sister's husband and me fell accidentally in love
skylar
did u both start as friends? that's why u couldn't tell him about having no feelings?
obsessedtortoise4
well it's not accidental we both have true feelings on each other
obsessedtortoise4
I told him that I don't have true feelings on him but very late
obsessedtortoise4
actually I always wanted true love someone to love me
obsessedtortoise4
ofcourse he has on me
obsessedtortoise4
actually like 3 yrs we didn't express our love but we used to care a lot
skylar
when did u fall in love with u sisters husband? before or after marriage?
obsessedtortoise4
after marriage
obsessedtortoise4
I love my sister but my feelings for my sis husband is true
obsessedtortoise4
even he has same feeling
obsessedtortoise4
I never thought to express even he thought the same but in sudden outburst we both expressed
skylar
Unrelatable ques- does ur sister have any kids?
obsessedtortoise4
no
obsessedtortoise4
no kids
obsessedtortoise4
my problem is I have one person who loves me
obsessedtortoise4
but I truly have feelings on some other
skylar
u both should come of clean,yes there will be consequences but then u both can be together, at least
thrilledfalcon25
1
answr, sorry, if u dont mind:- hv u ever been physical with ur sis's husband or just fell in love?
obsessedtortoise4
1
we have never been physical
thrilledfalcon25
ok
obsessedtortoise4
I don't understand what to do
obsessedtortoise4
the only reason why I was in relationship for 2 yrs because I just wanted true love but I didn't get on him and so I was rude
obsessedtortoise4
but he is very loyal and sincere to me
obsessedtortoise4
he never scolded me but I have did it many times not even a single time he scolded me
thrilledfalcon25
1
have a clear conversation to sort things out as early as possible... we know initially it will be a bit emotional issue.. and heal gradually.. but its better to have transparency in family relations..
skylar
what is love according to u, tortoise?
obsessedtortoise4
my sister's husband loves me cares for me but our relationship will be there only for few months
obsessedtortoise4
that I can't even imagine
obsessedtortoise4
acc to me with love u can live the life only one person is enough
skylar
are u ready for confrontation?
obsessedtortoise4
actually we decided to stay and keep it as secret relationship as family is involved
obsessedtortoise4
life long we decided to be in secret relationship
skylar
how long are u going to keep it secret? 6 months, 1yr , or 2yr..? be realist for a bit!
obsessedtortoise4
but I truly love him each and every sec I think about him
obsessedtortoise4
I have to keep it no other option for me
obsessedtortoise4
am I cheating the guy who really loved me?
obsessedtortoise4
am I cheating my sister?
obsessedtortoise4
I never thought that he is also having same feelings on me but one day we both at a time expresed that day I can't even forget
obsessedtortoise4
can someone reply pls
skylar
I don't really want to say this but no sister would ever want to see her husband falling in love with her younger sister. well after all this she will be the one who will bear the impact most. also the more u hide it, the more u hide, the more wrong this is.
thrilledfalcon25
will ur sister's husband favour u (cooperate) at the time of confrontation (if).. what do u think?
skylar
it's better to come clean, at least u both will get to be together.
obsessedtortoise4
I agree but what about the feelings we both have
obsessedtortoise4
when my family knows this my sister will give divorce after that there will be no talks he told
skylar
no talks...? there will be... if ur indian then will not so simple
obsessedtortoise4
but we really have feelings on each other
obsessedtortoise4
it was a miracle in my life that we both expressed on one day
obsessedtortoise4
the thing is we want to maintain secret relationship like this forever even if I get married he cares for me
obsessedtortoise4
and the guy who loved me very sincerely doesn't know this
obsessedtortoise4
I don't want to hurt anyone I told the guy if my family accepts I will marry him at the same time I will be in secret relationship with my sis husband is this wrong?
skylar
yes it's very wrong, it'll be unfair to all 4 of u
obsessedtortoise4
that doesn't mean I don't love the guy and my sister's husband doesn't love my sister
obsessedtortoise4
i know it's wrong but the feelings I have on him are very true
obsessedtortoise4
not just attraction there is ntg attractive between us
wakefulviper8
@obsessedtortoise4 : have u and ur guy been physical?
obsessedtortoise4
no we haven't been physical
wakefulviper8
it means u havnt been physican neither with sis hubby nor with guy
wakefulviper8
*physical
obsessedtortoise4
yes
skylar
in this situation, you can't help everyone...
wakefulviper8
1
i think this is just an emotional trap.. u r trapped in.. and u hv to be foresighted
obsessedtortoise4
I feel im very emotional
thrilledfalcon25
1
@wakefulviper i also think so this is a bit emotional trap...
obsessedtortoise4
now my sis husb is far away from my sis so he texts me calls me and after few months my sis will go to that place and then there will be no talks
obsessedtortoise4
he said he will call me when he is alone and my sister even told me that he asks about me a lot
obsessedtortoise4
Yes
thrilledfalcon25
u have to be very very very sure that he is not playing with u
obsessedtortoise4
he said he will make situations tell my sister something and call my parents to see me
thrilledfalcon25
1
only then proceed to any desision
obsessedtortoise4
noo he is not like that all my relatives like him he is good guy
obsessedtortoise4
he told each and every secret of him
obsessedtortoise4
very bad secrets that we can't share with anyone he told me
obsessedtortoise4
he is my family member from 3 yrs I still remember how we used to make situations to meet just to look each other
obsessedtortoise4
he said I'm married and talking like this with u Is wrong but I couldn't hide my feelings
obsessedtortoise4
he never abused me never scolded me even if I argue for silly reasons he never told a word
obsessedtortoise4
actually I have love from both people I don't know whom to select
skylar
1
just a reminder - if u decide to confess ur truth.. do it together, keeping it a secret ,you will hurt more people for longer time
obsessedtortoise4
thanks for ur advice but we can't confess I don't think marriage is the ultimate thing for love we can be like this forever what I feel
thrilledfalcon25
atleast be foresighted.. what will happen if ur sister hv kids?
obsessedtortoise4
I asked him to marry me he said sure we will do it secretly
skylar
it's not just about marriage for u both... he is also at the same time emotionally cheating on his wife... which also happens to be sister.
thrilledfalcon25
what secretly... will he give divorce
obsessedtortoise4
Yes I'm afraid of my sister
obsessedtortoise4
no he won't give divorce
thrilledfalcon25
then it will be much more complicated and not worth
thrilledfalcon25
1
this is not the way a family or socity works
skylar
ull marry him secretly?? when he's still in married to ur sis, wake up to reality !
obsessedtortoise4
I don't know what to do
obsessedtortoise4
I agree that I'm making mistake the only thing Im afraid of is loosing him
skylar
that's not how things work, either accept ur love and come out or.... leave him- sorry this comes out as harsh
obsessedtortoise4
Yes I don't want to go against society all I need is true love may be emotionally connected let's see what happens
thrilledfalcon25
firstly.. kindly be clear on ur priorities.. in this case u have to choose only one...
obsessedtortoise4
is it my fault that I didn't get feelings on guy who loved me?
skylar
it's not about society... it's more about ur ethics.... just imagine if u keep this a secret for few more years.... and sister has kids.... what are u going to do? it will become only for complicated.. and end up hurting more people.
obsessedtortoise4
my sis husb is not there at that time when I accepted that guy
thrilledfalcon25
then what was diff in ur siss hubby than the guy
thrilledfalcon25
that u got oriented only towards him
obsessedtortoise4
I agree with what you are saying but Im deeply connected to him and it is true real pure love that is my problem
obsessedtortoise4
even I don't want to love my sis husb and cheat my sis but unknowingly I fell in love with him the way he cares me talks to me supports me
obsessedtortoise4
in practical maintaining a secret relationship is very tough and not correct I know but the love I have on him is what I'm talking about
wakefulviper8
1
i agree with @falcon25 ... aisa kya alag tha siss hubby me... so that we also learn from this situation
skylar
but that is not a excuse... imagine urself in ur sister's place... how will u feel? ur hubs and sis having a affair behind her back..
obsessedtortoise4
there was no spl thing in my sis husb infact the guy will be handsome than him
wakefulviper8
1
i think ur siss hubby was more emotional sympathetic to u
obsessedtortoise4
so should I leave my sis husb?
wakefulviper8
am i ryt
obsessedtortoise4
my life changed when I met him that is the only reason I got connected to him
skylar
@wake @25 - these kinda cases actually exist, happened in my locality too a few yrs back, only fault was that younger one actually became pregnant... wanna know what happened ? today many people(present gen)don't even know she existed.
obsessedtortoise4
sympathetic what do u mean by that
obsessedtortoise4
I would like to change that s why I told my story
thrilledfalcon25
@skylar.. what are the parameters of these emotional connections are these backed up by emotional sympathy
thrilledfalcon25
in our unconcious mind that we dont notice?
obsessedtortoise4
thanks everyone for listening and expressing ur opinions
skylar
1
@25-hmm.... there are many... I don't want really say here... it's obvious many things here are missing
thrilledfalcon25
i am interested in these topics vry much
skylar
what topics? @ 25
thrilledfalcon25
how these unconcious emotional intrepetationleads to misunderstanding and even delusions about oneself
thrilledfalcon25
interesting? isnt it?
thrilledfalcon25
i think thats the root cause of this case as well.. do u agree
skylar
they are complicated... u'll need to study these in depth basis of the case . it differs with person to person
thrilledfalcon25
ya
thrilledfalcon25
have u studied or researched these..
skylar
yeah it's seems like that... a couple of things mentioned here surely directs towards that.
obsessedtortoise4
towards what may I know pls?
obsessedtortoise4
no I just wanted to know
skylar
in case u have forgotten... I'm just a high school graduate lol. but when I hear these cases... they don't end well.
thrilledfalcon25
1
@obsessedtortoise if u know this in depth then 30 percent of ur problem will solved.. i guess
skylar
tell me certain things - Tortoise... yeah I'm not judging things here... ohk? but it just seems.. like that
obsessedtortoise4
pls tell me
obsessedtortoise4
no no I'm not thinking like that
obsessedtortoise4
I just wanted to know is it abnormal or normal
thrilledfalcon25
normal it can happen to anyone
skylar
would u like discuss this on insta...? after sometime ,my phone is dying here 😅
obsessedtortoise4
1
im sorry I would like to chat here
thrilledfalcon25
ok no problem
skylar
that's fine too.... I'll come here after 10 I guess... is that ok with u?
obsessedtortoise4
normal?? then why I'm feeling depressed
obsessedtortoise4
yeah ok
thrilledfalcon25
1
depression in these situation is also normal but dont overthink it
obsessedtortoise4
the only one person on whom I got true love I should leave u know how hurting that would me
obsessedtortoise4
*would be
obsessedtortoise4
my problem is I want to love someone truly that's it
thrilledfalcon25
1
the only reason this situation obsessively manifests in ur mind, because u r experiencing true love (or it seems to be) for the FIRST time in life... i guess...
thrilledfalcon25
1
so its normal dont worry
obsessedtortoise4
Yes first time
obsessedtortoise4
previously I was in relationship with that guy where I never felt such feelings
thrilledfalcon25
also u havnt expirenced intimacy as well... this is also a factor
thrilledfalcon25
1
u just want a true love whome u can rely upon for life....
obsessedtortoise4
in chats we were so close
obsessedtortoise4
Yes exactly
thrilledfalcon25
in this situations u have to be very much carefull
obsessedtortoise4
in what
obsessedtortoise4
see I have no friends but very good family I have I used to feel alone at school so I used to accept those who love me
obsessedtortoise4
and if someone shows little care I used to connect to them a lot
thrilledfalcon25
ohhk
obsessedtortoise4
but only if I like them if I don't like them I accept them but don't behave well
obsessedtortoise4
this is my problem
skylar
I would say rectify ur feelings...its seems like u r trying to fill that emotional void and emotional intimacy, by accepting anyone who shows some affection to u.