hi.. i am facing terrible thoughts for my career my family even i dont know how to explain those ...
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hi.. i am facing terrible thoughts for my career my family even i dont know how to explain those things but i will try to explain at my best ..from childhood there were lot of fights between my parents my father is a critical person he always end up fights by beating my mother and after me growing he sometimes beat me also he never supports in household things or our needs like clothes or anything he dont give money even he used pay our fees also with a year due...because of this attitude i started preparing for neet to get a govt seat so that i dont beg for money to him i have dropped one year gave m 2nd attempt this year but got almost same marks i got last year like my whole 8 months prep gone in dustbin i just increased 20 to 40 marks then i thought of going abroad again my dad created scene i started prep for ielts but not even to do good in that the teacher used to shame me she said me i will not able to clear i m very poor at it ..so i took admission in avg pvt college where i dont know my career will become good or not my all dreams of giving a good life to my mom and little sister going in a dump in each n every sector i m failing no option is opening for me every time teaseing lonely no friends my mother also dont talk patiently to me i have become a loser who cant do anything who is just a failure i try to strangle my self or to run away from this house but couldnt able to my everything is shattered every time i have pain in m chest and left hand due to stress and anxiety heart pounding so fast i hate myself i hate the person i see in mirror.. i just want to end my life because i dont have energy left in me i have faced alot that i cnt mention here because i dont know how to express the thoughts emotions going inside i m just getting tortured inside from myself even i cant ask for money from parents for psychiatrist because they will scold me tease me will not give pls help

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