because i just ruin everyone's mood because i am fucking emotional, idiot stupid person
skylar
how do u know that u ruin everyone's mood? 🤨
cockylizard3
I'm failing in expressing my emotions..and it makes everything bad for everyone
anuji
i overexpress a tiny bit of inconvenience and i go crazy my anxiety kicks in and i ruin everything. he was right that's why I don't have friends and anyone i am such a horrible person
skylar
1
to both of you overexpressing and underexpressing urself doesn't make u any less human.. when it comes to overexpressing, sometimes it's just sudden panic kinda situation which makes u overreact a bit... then after a while when adrenaline sheds off... you are like oh it's not much of a big deal
cockylizard3
@anuji same here
skylar
@cockylizard - what do u think... thought of expressing urself scares you? does it makes u anxious? or u have tried to hide urself so much that u urself have forgotten how to feel?
skylar
if either of friend circle makes u feel bad for overexpressing Or can't make u comfortable enough to make u share ur fears, then don't blame urself for someone's else inability to understand u
anuji
but i keep doing it like all the time i want to stop but it's just I think i am crazy . i am just insecure stupid girl who just crying over her stupid behaviour
anuji
i so want to change myself
anuji
Skylar you are really nice but it's actually my fault they are really nice it's me who just overreact all the time , fear of loosing someone makes me go so crazy that my actions actually push them away
skylar
1
it takes time anuji, there are times I do same... when all excitement settles down I'm like oh it's no big deal.. I was being silly... it's normal... don't overthink that much... take baby steps... there will be no magic thing... that will change u miraculously
cockylizard3
@Skylar we understand ur concern but things doesn't work like this ..we feel guilty many times we get lost...stuck at some point blaming ourselves
cockylizard3
you know what u r right but not in our case u r right as per your perspective... and the problem is that we even stop trusting ourselves...that's why we'll say u r right but ultimately we'll reliaze it doesn't work at all..
cockylizard3
it's complex
cockylizard3
@anuji bro can u relate?
anuji
how pathetic it can be like i like in a 2 highest populated country yet i have no one
cockylizard3
it's simple complex paradox I feel
skylar
1
here's the thing, I can only give u a different perspective... and motivation which will be temporary...what do you think? I'm a person with a rainbow life and many friends? nope... I've felt both overwhelmness and numbness... I've surpassed those stages... in the end it will you who'll be lifting urself.. for ur own good... make effort and be consistent with it
cockylizard3
@skylar are u offended bro ?
skylar
nope... I'm sorry if I might've come that away... I think I didn't framed it well..
anuji
Skylar i desperately want to change myself it's so hard, should i text him and say a last goodbye ?
skylar
who's him here?
anuji
a person who i ruined mood all the time i always thought why the relationship is so toxic until I saw myself in mirror and released its me who ruined everything because of my insecurity jealously and emotion. i am so much devoted that i harm him aswell myself
skylar
is he ur best friend or boyfriend? or somewhere in between?
