Are you close to any of your parents? have you tried sharing with them?
no, I am close to none, I tried to share with them but they don't seem to understand anything I say
No one can force you into something that you are not ready for. I know what pressure feels like with parents around I have been going through all this for past few years. I just try and handle somehow. I am sure you will be able to as well.
thankyou that helped a lot, but everything feels like a dead end now