I and my bf have been together for 4 years, we had some pretty ugly fights in this relationship, but today after we had some.drinks I asked him can we go for a long drive, i was paying for it too, because obviously i wanted to go, he said sure and until i noticed, he dropped me near my home, i was soo furious, i said what is this?, he said he can't take me, i said why did not you tell me earlier, when i was in the mood to go, and had a whole scenario in my mind, he said he thinks I should go home, we got into a heating argument, I asked him to drop me by the road, the scene got so worse, I tried jumping out of the car, when it was slow, i jumped, but got really hurt, and then without even stopping or looking back he drove his car and went home.

Question

Kira_X_L · Answer

leave him... it may hurt to hear it but there is already someone else

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i had this relationship for soo long, it's not easy

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i broke his mirror too, i was soo angry, he never seems to understand what i want, i plan dates, i pay for them, always, i pay for drinks when we have some, the only job he does is fulfill his requirements and come to my home to get some action.

rudhra907 · Answer

if were your brother or friend i would have beaten him brutally.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i don't have anyone to understand this scene, i am in a lot of pain, my knees legs back hurt, but he seems to not care, he just drove, people nearby came to pick me up, tommorow if he calls he will blame everything on me, that I was acting irrational.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

that I am insane, i don't know how to behave, i am fucked up, whenever I say you don't do this or dat, he says, i will not, what can you do, etc.

rudhra907 · Answer

if i am in your situation i would have beaten him brutally,

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i didnot, what should I do, I walked 4 kms back home.

Kira_X_L · Answer

i am telling you leave him... ofcourse it'll hurt and it'll be brutally hard but you have to do it.... never stay in a relationship were you are not fulfilled

rudhra907 · Answer

invite him to your house, communicate what you want from him and what he wants from you, if things don't work break up and if he is very much disinterested even in communication then just lock the door take a broom and beat him up

cynicalpear2 · Answer

@kira_X_L whenever I try to leave, he will do something nice to make me stay, i have tried this multiple times, but then never successful

cynicalpear2 · Answer

@rudra907 He has hit me a few times earlier and he will do that again, and when he does hit me, he will say you provoke me to an extreme, so i have to hit you, and then will hug me and say sorry.

rudhra907 · Answer

ask him why he want you

Kira_X_L · Answer

@cynicalpear2... and he will keep doing it... i faced the same situation with my last gf... everytime i wanted to end it face to face seeing that it was the right thing to do she would somehow pull me back in... so I finally broke it off over text... because I knew if I saw her or even heard her voice I would be pulled back in... and so i ended it and removed her completely from my life... you need to do the same... it may seem like a jerk move but you have to do it... for you and your peace

rudhra907 · Answer

ask him not to hit you if he really love however extreme the situation is, and if he does break up but remember to slap hard.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

@rudhra907 i don't feel like speaking to him again, he will again blame everything on me, and i don't think he wants me, i adores his ego a lot more

rudhra907 · Answer

just speak and ask directly and clear everything and if he blames something on you just break up and slap him hard

cynicalpear2 · Answer

@kira_X_L we broke up a few months back, but then got back together, he made so much effort, i don't make friends easily, so it gets really hard, i only have him in this city, i will be all alone if he is not with me, i came all along just for him.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

@rudhra907 he will because that's what love is all about, according to him, he has done few things, but again, there has been some very bad situations too.

rudhra907 · Answer

you are new in the city and just came for him

cynicalpear2 · Answer

yes, i felt of we be together, we can get close and work on the relationship.

rudhra907 · Answer

what's your age, (if you are teen then focus on career)

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i am 23

rudhra907 · Answer

and he

cynicalpear2 · Answer

33

rudhra907 · Answer

what you want ultimately

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i wanted a mature relationship, where I could speak to someone, share stuffs, i have got used to him , and it's hard to let go.

rudhra907 · Answer

and what he wants ultimately

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i don't know, i have no idea, i don't even think, he thinks about a future together.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

Do you think I am a bad person here, getting out of the car? and stuffs? do you think I am abusive?

rudhra907 · Answer

no no i think he is abusive

cynicalpear2 · Answer

what i did was insane, people judge me, i don't know this relationship brings out the worst in me.

rudhra907 · Answer

put a hand on your heart and truly speaks due want this guy who abusive you, if you're are together then he would be more abusive. if he is changing by action then believe him otherwise break up you are going to destroy your life. he will continue to make efforts just so that he can fulfil his emotional needs and you'll be his slave. only option to continue is he must change completely.

rudhra907 · Answer

have you taken a decision

cynicalpear2 · Answer

how can I ensure that? i don't know how to communicate, o dont want to make an effort all over again to get into something new, i have spent soo much time.in this reply, what should I do?

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i have got used to this scenario, i just run behind him, for no reason at all, whenever he needs me i am there, but he always has something else as his priority.

rudhra907 · Answer

okay answer my question

cynicalpear2 · Answer

sorry if I am blabbering too much

rudhra907 · Answer

are you happy with him

cynicalpear2 · Answer

when he is with me yes, but when he goes no, i don't trust him, feels like he is with someone

rudhra907 · Answer

who is his priority

cynicalpear2 · Answer

his family

rudhra907 · Answer

and who is that someone whom you feel he is with

rudhra907 · Answer

see you have to be open to me to resolve your issues

rudhra907 · Answer

hello are you here

rudhra907 · Answer

????

rudhra907 · Answer

did i say anything wrong

cynicalpear2 · Answer

actually I hate to say this, he is married.

rudhra907 · Answer

what

rudhra907 · Answer

when why how

rudhra907 · Answer

i mean when did he marry (and sorry for over reacting)

cynicalpear2 · Answer

before we came into this relationship, i was unaware, and in a very vulnerable place, i had just broke up with someone who cheated on me, was getting through that phase, when he came along, when i realised this it was too late, to let go

rudhra907 · Answer

just break up and don't destroy their married life

rudhra907 · Answer

and even if you did nothing will happen to him but your character will be questioned.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

don't you think I have already thought of that, that's y I don't try to share these stuffs with people, because no one understands what i am going through, i am not in a relationship, he is, he is doing wrong to her and me

cynicalpear2 · Answer

Thank you, that was the last thing I wanted to hear Today. character questioned???? i get that a lot, I loved a man, whom i didnot know was married, until it was too late, yeah but society just blames the 'other women' or the 'mistress' as per say.

rudhra907 · Answer

he is evil, he is a whore don't look upon him, he will pay for his sin but you dont get in between take care of our image, i hope hope that man suffers greatest pain of mankind.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

Thank you for being available for the whole time, sorry no grudges on you, i am just evry very frustrated, don't know where my life is taking me. Sorry

rudhra907 · Answer

don't worry, every time you feel alone in this world always remember here i am your friend whom you can share anything with, and I'll always help

cynicalpear2 · Answer

Thank you soo much, i feel relieved, thank you for not judging.

rudhra907 · Answer

have a good day

rudhra907 · Answer

i mean good night

cynicalpear2 · Answer

good night

Frustrating

help me please

how do I change for the better?