how can i say no assertively to someone close to me without putting myself in guilty when i needto

Question

farshy756 · Answer

hey

clarke34 · Answer

hii @farshy

clarke34 · Answer

hw r u

farshy756 · Answer

good

clarke34 · Answer

okay so yesterday i was bit down but im trying to find out ways to get some way to find out best response that i can give to someone when i wanted to say no to someone im close to but cant due to guilty issues like what if they think i dont care like that

farshy756 · Answer

okay, I see, but they are the people who are close to you, why would they think you don't care, just because you said no once or twice.

clarke34 · Answer

hey can i elaborate

farshy756 · Answer

yeah sure

clarke34 · Answer

my relative once had some bitter taste with me in some year amd half ago and sometimes ita unpredictable mood of them like if they need help from me i give them but when we need it during times they show their mysteruous colours and id say like just diplomatically we r okay with them and not sure what terms they are with us

farshy756 · Answer

means they take advantage of you and take your help in doing their work but don't return the same.

clarke34 · Answer

hey farshy also give me some easy tips to say no at the time when i need to refuse because i have seen and analysed my behaviour that i lack calmness and firmness while making decisions due to my nature you know

clarke34 · Answer

hey you can say that @farshy and its bad doesnt it that when someone asks for favour from you in time of need and when the time comes for return back its just the opposite😔

farshy756 · Answer

yeah it is bad, but some people are like that, viruses hosting on other people for their work.

clarke34 · Answer

heyy

clarke34 · Answer

do you have some experience that you want to share like these situations

clarke34 · Answer

it affects my thinking pattern

clarke34 · Answer

i just go with the flow during talk and i even forget what should i allow and what should i dont allow to someone because when you r more connected to a person its not that easy

farshy756 · Answer

I have suffered the same problem especially with relatives, their was bitterness between my mom and my father's family, so whenever we went to visit them, I sort of had to choose a side and saying no to anyone was like impossible.

clarke34 · Answer

sad truth we cant compensate 😐

clarke34 · Answer

with these people

farshy756 · Answer

you can just straight tell your relative, that 'you can't do it.' what they have asked you to do, if they act rude and try to manipulate you, no matter what happens don't change your answer, you are not obligated to justify yourself to anyone.

clarke34 · Answer

😀

clarke34 · Answer

thanks again for supportimg my siruation

farshy756 · Answer

remember you can have a kind heart, and still say no, this does not make you a bad person, and for your information, you are not a bad person person in the first place, your an amazing person.

farshy756 · Answer

anytime @clark

farshy756 · Answer

😊😊😊

clarke34 · Answer

see ya @farshy☺

farshy756 · Answer

see ya

help me please

how do I change for the better?

difficult tym after breakup