I recently had breakup and I initiated it. the boy I left, Love me with all his heart but i don't have any feelings towards him , i tried to be with him for 4 years because of his love towards me but I failed, we are in long distance relationship for all these years. now I'm having this constant guilt all day because I feel like I gave him false hopes and now I finally got courage to tell him that I have no feelings towards him ,I'm feeling soo light and at the same time I have soo much guilt , can anyone plz tell me how to deal with this situation

Question

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

4 years???how can you not fall for him in this 4 years!

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

we are in long distance and all these years we talked like friends , I never felt like I'm in relationship

bearwiththickhead · Answer

you didn't give him any hope because hope is an internal emotion but in reality when you did those hopeful things, you gave yourself hope and that hope is now dying

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

I guess it's hard for him but atleast you did good by not ruining his entire life staying with him without love

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

just tell him that you have never seen it as a relationship

bearwiththickhead · Answer

the hope inside you is dying and when its completely gone, you'll be relieved

bearwiththickhead · Answer

let this relationship go from your heart, you'll feel better

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he said we will marry in next year, but i got panicked, if I'm in love i should feel happy right?

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

soo i decided to tell him now only that I have no feelings towards him

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

yeah just don't stay with him out of guilt .... everything will get better it will take time so let it go

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

yeaah it's good the point he raise of marriage and you said the truth

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

it takes lot of courage

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

but he is very sad with my decision, he is saying you will get feelings after marriage

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

no  what if you won't

bearwiththickhead · Answer

keeping the hope with you while its dying is worse than letting the hope go

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

tell him it's better to feel sad than not getting love from opposite

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

what's what I asked him, he said anyone can get feelings once u r married

bearwiththickhead · Answer

loving is not a sin and guilt is not a curse

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

naah that doesn't happen I have seen love marriage turning into nightmare

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

that's my biggest fear also, what if I can't get feelings after marriage

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

it's not arrange where you have to force and give time to love that person after marriage

bearwiththickhead · Answer

is he rich

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

bearwiththickhead....Rich won't be that much help if she is not loving him😂😂

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I biggest mistake I did is trying to love him all these 4 years

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he settled in US ,now he got job also..but love is not business right?

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

yeah you tried your best and if you can't fall in 4 years I don't think you will ever

bearwiththickhead · Answer

where do you work?

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

but he is not accepting it, he keep on saying, you will get feelings once we are married

bearwiththickhead · Answer

do you work or no

stuckbutterfly · Answer

@affectedcardinal3 you have broken up right

cautiousBass5 · Answer

tbh I don't think she will marry a man if he is broke even if she is in love with him. prove me wrong!

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

guyzz discuss is gng in other direction

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I don't work @ beardwiththickhead I'm student

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I can't decide whether I did right or wrong

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

you did right thing

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

but he is soo sad that is making me feel more guilt

stuckbutterfly · Answer

take some time then decide try to be honest with yourself. do what you feel is right for you.

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I want to add one more thing, I'm in love with boy who is in temporary relationship with other girl

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

it's obvious of him to feel sad just don't let it affect your decision

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

how can you be sure that it's a temporary?

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he told me that upto one year only they'll be in relationship

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

and after that he will love you???

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he said I love you, i want you permanently but now i promised one person for one year,later we can be together

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

Girl, How old are you?

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

can't you see the games he is playing

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

is he really playing games?

stuckbutterfly · Answer

@affectedcardinal3 bro now i am getting doubt whether you are saying truth or playing with us, why wasting other's time, we are concerned about you

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he is already in temporary relationship before he met me, he keep on saying y didn't you meet me earlier

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I'm not making stories, I'm talking abt my life

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

my life is becoming soo complicated that others can't believe it is true or makeup story

bearwiththickhead · Answer

So you booked his love for the session of 2023-24?

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

yeah we understand you are not make stories but try to look at the things clearly ... always here to help but you have to listen to us

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I can sense it that I'm making my life complicated,that's y i reach out for help

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

you know he is clearly not worth it even if he left his temporary girlfriend just don't go with him and don't blindly fall in love with him

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

at this moment I will say the person who is loving you is better than him

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

but I already told the boy who loves me that I don't have feelings for him, what should I do now

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

you know I am not saying that you have to be with someone anyhow ...are you that desperate of love!?....for time period just stay single

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

okay I'll stay single , after one one year , if he comes to me then can I believe his love is true

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

the one with temporary relationship?

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

yes

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

no

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

after one year he is going to end his relationship so he will come to you whether it's true or not

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

and if he loves you why he is telling you to wait for  1 year is he on contract with her or what

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he is committed to her before I entered his life for temporary relationship

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

after I came , he is saying that you are the girl that I want in my life ,just wait for one year thats what he is saying

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

so are you so sure that once you enter his life no other girl will come and your committed relationship won't turn into temporary relationship

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

he started his temporary relationship as temporary only, it is not permanent one turned to temporary,but with me it is starting as permanent relationship

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

is it possible for a person to love two people at same time

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

no it's possible to love two person at same time he is just finding his comfort he is not loyal

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

it's not possible*

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

if it was temporary he can end it right at the moment

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

no need to stay committed when it was already temporary from Starting that means other girl is not going to get hurt because of you

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

what should I tell him now

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

just ask him why he need to stay for 1 year with her

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I asked him already, he is saying he said he promised her for one year relationship

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

you know the other girl?

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

yes , they roam before my eyes

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

you should ask her the actual situation without him knowing

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

she is not aware of my situation, she is thinking that I'm his frnd

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I know they're in temporary relationship

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

Exactly she is not aware of anything and he is just doing timepass with her

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

but he is saying you are the girl i want In , I'll be with u for the rest of my life

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

you know all my point is that if he can leave his current girlfriend he can leave you for sure

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

just don't go after him there will be someone who will you without any condition

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

thank you so much for sharing your story

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I really consider your suggestion

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

yeah was concerned  for you so I shared the story

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

can I delete it now if you get the point!?

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

yes yes you can delete it

humoroustortoise7 · Answer

yea🙌

affectedcardinal3 · Answer

I really appreciate that u shared ur story for me 😊

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