Hi, I have inlaws issue. There are two sister in laws (one is husbands sister and the other his brother's wife) and they are like besties. I married 8 months ago and I belong to a city life and an upper caste. They never wanted to talk to me over phone prior to the wedding. They even didnt post our wedding pictures on social media. But when it comes to the other sister inlaw it is all nice . There is also a lot of things I get to hear like the other sister in law makes better food this that . I tried being nice to them. Get them gifts and all but nothing happens. we all stay separately but visit monthly or so. Once the sister of my husband disrespected me by passive aggressive behaviour and comments. since we don't talk openly I posted whatever she did to me online in form of status. They also never like my posts. I blocked the sister. How do I get a strong Bonding? or it shall never be??

Question

Hi, I have inlaws issue. There are two sister in laws (one is husbands sister and the other his brother's wife) and they are like besties.  I married 8 months ago and I belong to a city life and an upper caste. They never wanted to talk to me over phone prior to the wedding. They even didnt post our wedding pictures on social media. But when it comes to the other sister inlaw it is all nice . There is also a lot of things I get to hear like the other sister in law makes better food this that . I tried being nice to them. Get them gifts and all but nothing happens. we all stay separately but visit monthly or so. Once the sister of my husband disrespected me by passive aggressive behaviour and comments. since we don't talk openly I posted whatever she did to me online in form of status. They also never like my posts. I blocked the sister. How do I get a strong Bonding? or it shall never be??

TheCalmestopener · Answer

Ig since all this happened, it might be difficult to bond... Bit ig it might have been a lot easier when u were just a newly wed

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

I don't know. I wanted a better bonding.

Vickey · Answer

it's all possible, first of all, never show ur aggression, and always try to happy with them

Vickey · Answer

And unka relation hai ki aap ki Kami woh nikalenge, but aap always do ur best, Agar woh samjhdar hongi to aapka v respect karengi, Otherwise never expect positive response from any one

TheCalmestopener · Answer

Ha ofc, but apne jo kia unse wo definitely offend hui hogi so unko bonding krne me interest nai hoga shayad

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

thanks Vickey. I try to do that. But lots of things were left unsaid so posted online for them to see

TheCalmestopener · Answer

But anyways, u can always try ✌🏼

Vickey · Answer

yeah, U try ur best, and agar aap chahti ho achi bonding ke liye to apne taraf se humesha positive raho, kabhi na kabhi to sahi bond ho jayega, i understand ur feelings but kabhi kabhi family grouping kuch jyada hote hai, So don't be sad for them

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

see, my mother in law. read those statuses and she behaves normal calls me regularly. Sister in law read and stopped looking more of my statuses. I blocked her. whenever we meet she talks normally as if nothing has happened.

TheCalmestopener · Answer

which means she is offended bass sabke samne dikhati nai hai

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

She did wrong with me. Also didn't behave well once when my parents visited her. But in the family group if I comment for her son's achievements she will reply. If I visit her she will talk . But the think is sister of my husband and my bhabi they are like Bestfriends. Make me an outsider. And they are older than me and also mentally they match. They dont socialise much either

Vickey · Answer

ok, that's a reason, Don't worry, they are never socialize with u, because their bonds are so strong, U need to focus on ur family and Aap apne side se bs positive raho, kabhi unke against mat raho, and make distance from both of them

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

wohi they will never. I do call my bhabi and she talks normally. but with the sister it will be never. Family events will visit and do my part and comeback. Aisa nahin hoga ki tino milke kabhi kuch accha karenge. That doesn't feel nice

Vickey · Answer

family me kuch relation aise hi hote hai ki jinse sirf formalities nibhai jaye, ye dono aapke liye waise hi hai

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

Vickey, thanks a lot. To compare I feel I am way more forward. Everyone else in husbands side like me. Just that mother in law and the sisters can't,😁 They treat my bhabi as a god just because she is a doctor. But I am ten years younger to bhabi and 15 years to the sister. I also work as a gazetted officer.

Vickey · Answer

oh great mam, But don't be sad, Jahan pe aap comfortable feel na karo, Us relative se door rehna chahiye, and haan when they have ur need, ofcourse woh aapko jarur respect dengi

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

Wohi kar Rahi hoon. once my mother in law and father in law dies...I think koi nata nahin rahega.😆 because they don't share anything with us. my husband is the youngest. And gets no much share of the house. I think how will life will be if nobody keeps in touch. besties will be besties 😆

Vickey · Answer

and aap disappoint mat ho, aap apne aap me best ho, kyunki aapne try to kiya ki aapka v relation unlogo se acha ho jaye, and ur own family is more enough to talk and manage ur feelings

Vickey · Answer

and rahi baat achi food banane ki to agar woh aapke husband ko pasand aa rahe, to us se acha food ban hi nahi sakta, ek or suggestion doon

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

I am single child and my parents are supportive. but since i married to a big family I thought accha hoga. Sab alag alag rehte hai but yes baatein karte hain. sirf mere sath mother in law does and that's from before marriage. usske alawa bhabi does once in a blue moon  . No calls no messages as in to talk as friends.

Vickey · Answer

Aap unlogo ko ignore karna start kar do, phir dekho, unhe apni value pata chal jayegi

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

neither I call them nor message. I even stopped calling my mother in law. earlier din mein do bar call karti thi. they dont like me visiting my parents or husband as I stay far for my job. They have even problem if I sleep in the evening after work 😆 Mother in law will make other relatives talk to me when I visit my parents just to know indirectly how long will i stay.

Vickey · Answer

oh means ur mother in-law is also not supporting u, don't worry it's a nature of human, It's big issue in Indian culture, they never understand the value of others daughter

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

mother in law also did a lot with me. just that after reading my status and all the vents still keeps calling me. Had been really bad. they Will prepare me food when i visit but also disrespect.

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

but when it comes to the other sister in law (bhabi) all is chill. she is the favourite most. she keeps on giving them a lot of gifts and things whenever she visits. Even If I give I stand nowhere.

Vickey · Answer

Don't worry mam, All's will be good, i hope 🙏🙏, Aap apne side se positive raho, and do ur best

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

thanks for listening Vickey. Bohut accha laga. I am new here. Keep in touch 🙂

Vickey · Answer

yeah sure mam, And thank u, Aap kabhi v kuch share karna chaho to aap share kar sakti ho,

Saranghae · Answer

1 word pipebomb 💀

spiritedraisins3 · Answer

Leaving it to God and staying positive. That's all I can do.

I am too boring person