i am not understanding anything about my life .true ,When i was a kid i saw people who did not have jobs ,so at that i decided to not to become like them.so i took my life so serious ,i left all my things which has given me happiness cricket, watching movies,i forcefully started studying in between my mother's mental illness because she is not living the way she wanted to live and my brother did not have job.my toxic father uses everything to his advantage.he wanted me to be like his slave to fear of him to listen to what he says and he is just fucking fake guy.my mother is so strong she was living just because of us.now i completed btech with so much serious Ness in the branch which i don't even like.without friends without enjoyment taking life as too serious left me with wounds which i can not forgetin my life.now i m understanding like my brother is also a human being and they have like this waynoe i left my job preparing for upsc u don't know whether I can crack or not I don know