hey can I help you

hey ,we can talk I u want

I'd love that but it feels like emotional dump lol

that's ok if you want talk personally I can I'm here u can share u'll feel better

thankyou sm. so where do I even start

hey coffeine

tell us what's bothering you in first place

@coffeine it u want to talk personally we can share some such platform

uh guys so i just wrote a whole ass para and then accidentally clicked the back button- i am so dumb wtf 😭🖐🏻

but I'll try to write it again

thats sad

@coffeine are u still writing?

so first of all i only had like 2 people who i thought cared about me and was close with. one of them is my bestfriend who we'll call abc and my partner xyz. also abc is xyz's sister. so i realised how self centred abc is. like she "jokingly" says things like "haha you studied more than me yet i scored better" even after I've talked to her bout how i feel like a failure cuz i am not so good academically. and she also body shames me at times. and whenever I try to talk bout my feelings (which was very rare and i havent in months now) she makes me feel like the things I struggle with aren't important or big as hers. and then start talking bout how hard her life is(not saying it isn't tho cuz i believe everyone's struggle is valid and just as big as others) and yea she just says some stuff that is kinda toxic. but i can't hate her cuz at time she was there when i needed her and she is pretty fun to be with. and bout xyz, they are really caring, loving, affectionate and love me alot until abc is wuth us. they'd always pick abc no matter what. and it's fine cuz ofc it's their sister. but it just makes me feel like no one in this world has my back. cuz i just know for a fact that if i were bleeding on the ground after getting into a fight with abc, xyz would go to her because she slightly scraped her knee. and then tell me that it wasn't a big deal that abc beat me up. idk if i am overreacting tho. cuz i feel like i am. it might not be as big of a deal as i think it is

wow that's a big ass story

@coffeine I read that

what u feel is pretty normal and a bit overreacting i wont say over reacting i would say overthinking its pretty common its ok you can try to convey this to him and see

@coffeine sometimes u need to cut off the toxic ppl in ur life, even if it hurts you a lot. ur mental health is more important than dealing with the toxicity of others. u

@happyguy12 right

@adoringhawk7 yeaa but i am lowkey terrified of communication lol and also don't want xyz to think that i am somewhat jealous of abc yk?

if he understands u he wont feel like that but yeah you can communicate this either abc or xyz it myt help to clear your doubts

@happyguy12 yea I wanna do that but i am afraid that i might be the one on the wrong and i don't wanna hurt neither of them

@coffeine ig u should try talking to ur bf and tell him about how u feel. do u think he loves u enough to understand ur issue ?

@happyguy12 i think he does? I'll try talking to him bout all of this once i am ready to really risk it all.

yea mentally prepare urself bcz after the talk,things will get clear and then h might need to choose btwn ur mental health or toxic ppl in ur life . and uk what to choose at that time

@adoringhawk7 i have actually talked to abc bout the "more marks than you" thing and she was just like "omg i i didn't know you'd feel that way. you know i just am like that i times. i am sorryy" and then go on and do the same thing again

@happyguy12 tho they are kinda toxic but they also were a great emotional support a couple years ago. so idk if i should cut them off or just talk bout this and really ask them to help me in this?

i understand that they were ur support system a few years ago but as u can see things are changing now , so u need to choose things wisely prioritising urself first . Also i think u r somewhat overthinkjng about all these , maybe u should just try to talk to either xyz or abc and i guess things will sort out

@happyguy12 yea I do have an overthinking problem. you're right I will try and have a conversation with them both and i hope things will be better. thankyou so much for your time <3

all the best ❤️