yesterday a situation occurred and my best friend didn't take any stand for me. and today he told...

Question

skylar · Answer

the ques here shouldn't here how u should but how r u feeling?

aloofshads6 · Answer

@skylar, I have the same feeling when you love someone with all your heart and they don't love you back and they instead love someone else.

skylar · Answer

@shads - u know how he feels about u, right?

aloofshads6 · Answer

no not angry but betrayed. because I've done a lotttt for that guy. I've travelled for hours to spend time with him, I've spent my money, I've been there for him.....

skylar · Answer

it's both betrayl, anger + sadness.

aloofshads6 · Answer

@skylar- i really am confused  how he feels about me. like yesterday he came to hang out with me, when he could've gone to anyone else. he calls me almost everyday ( I feel he talks to me on calls more than X and Y (X is his neighbor so yeah)) but then he says they're his better friends. I'm confused tbh.

aloofshads6 · Answer

also I want one advice.... now after what he said I can work on it and make our friendship better or could just let it go. I personally feel former will be a better thing to do but what you guys think should be done?

skylar · Answer

what did he say ur friendship?

aloofshads6 · Answer

he say that it would've been his reflex action to jump in to defend X and Y because they're his better friends.

skylar · Answer

u didn't ask what abt u?

skylar · Answer

he seems like a dickhead to me (my opinion)

aloofshads6 · Answer

the answer was clear so i didn't. there's no such thing as 4th Or 5th priority acc to me.

skylar · Answer

u know what u want to do, don't u?

aloofshads6 · Answer

he is self centered and proud of himself but the this thing was said with earnestness. he shares everything with me and this was one of his feelings that he did share and i appreciate that he said it. but somewhere I also do feel he says all this to make me feel jealous or something because he knows I'm bothered by such things.

skylar · Answer

so.... you know everything abt ur situation. what decision are u going to take?

aloofshads6 · Answer

I really don't. but I feel the most positive thing to do would be to hang out with him more and try to initiate deeper bonding and make memories together instead of holding grudes.

aloofshads6 · Answer

I feel there are only 2 things I can do, either delete him from my life or try to initiate deeper bonding and latter seems a nicer option at this point in time.

skylar · Answer

I won't lie.... I really felt that facepalm moment quite literally..., but anyways, so u r still going to hang out with a self centered jerk? without holding grudges... what are you a charity bell?

skylar · Answer

you know what u should do shads, but it's actually familiarity and nostalgic feeling that's holding u down

skylar · Answer

umm shads, I didn't offend u, did I?

aloofshads6 · Answer

as I told you earlier he apologized multiple times , ik it's action that counts but idk plus I have faith. I'm occasionally hostile to him. he feels I don't share my stories with him so I'm thinking about trying to improve that. I'll be more open to him (which I wasn't before).  I'll try to be positive this time. because you know sometimes u try to tease people u love and I have a slight feeling he does the same.

aloofshads6 · Answer

not at all @skylar, you're being so nice to me.

skylar · Answer

if u feel like that,then give it a try, best of luck!!!

aloofshads6 · Answer

but i hate being someone's 3rd Or 4th priority when they're clearly my 1st.

aloofshads6 · Answer

also @slylar , I've replied to your story in the earlier post.  im interested to talk about it.

skylar · Answer

I will check that reply, when it comes into my feed I guess, I missed it's notification. different people have different priorities in life - we can't change we'll have to work with it together.

aloofshads6 · Answer

what you would've done if you were at my place.

skylar · Answer

efforts matter, if he puts same effort or 1/4 of what u put into him, then yes, don't give up on him. if he doesn't give a shit whether I live or die, I would leave him.

aloofshads6 · Answer

it's 1/2 i guess. like if I track the this week. we've talked on call for about 5 times and 4 times he was the one who called me. we met outside the college once and he was the one who initiated the plan and came near my house.

aloofshads6 · Answer

so this week he has placed more efforts.

skylar · Answer

u'll be the judge of that.

coffeine · Answer

toxic friend right there I'd say. or if not toxic, not true fosho

aloofshads6 · Answer

yeah I think toxic but occasionally he's the best anyone has ever been to me. he's good to me but he's good to a lot of people and as I said better with few others.

coffeine · Answer

@aloofshads6 i think you just needed someone to treat you better and because he did so, you assumed he's your friend now and you thought of him as yo bestfriend but it was just him being kind

aloofshads6 · Answer

maybe you're right but I'm among very few people who he visits outside the clg and calls almost everyday and shares almost everything.

skylar · Answer

shads - take ur time if u need to take decisions, but make ur mental health and urself ur  topmost priority.

aloofshads6 · Answer

I know the only thing that'll make me truly happy is either making new friends (who are true) and through them I move on OR I try and make my bonding my best friend stronger so that I become his best friend as well. what'll take a toll on me is trying to forget him when I have to see him everyday (same class) and I have no other better friends than him.

EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

impatient