I and my bf have been together for 4 years, we had some pretty ugly fights in this relationship, but today after we had some.drinks I asked him can we go for a long drive, i was paying for it too, because obviously i wanted to go, he said sure and until i noticed, he dropped me near my home, i was soo furious, i said what is this?, he said he can't take me, i said why did not you tell me earlier, when was in the mood to go, and had a whole scenario in my mind, he said he thinks should go home, we got into a heating argument, I asked him to drop me by the road, the scene got so worse, I tried jumping out of the car, when it was slow, i jumped, but got really hurt, and then without even stopping or looking
back he drove his car and went home.
hi can you suggest something
can anyone please help
okay... give me a sec
Has this ever happened before
No, he didnpt abandon me on road, i had to walk 4 kms.
do you consider him toxic?
yes he is, but he makes me feel like I am the bad one
Hmm I know that feeling
its up to you to decide
and I think you know the truth
you realized he is toxic
It's the biggest step. you deserve to be loved just like anyone else. So at least give yourself the love you deserve and get out of that toxic atmosphere
i am not good at making friends, he is the only support i have, in this new city, i feel helpless.
Me too... but I try. Right now you and I know he isn't a friend right now, so you are practically alone. Is gonna be okay, if you haven't failed you haven't tried. I'm still learning to start and keep up normal conversations so try, to start with social media, so you don't get attached. It will keep your anxiety at bay so you get to find your footing...
i will try what you suggested, thank you, i will text him, he doesn't deserve love, i just gave in tooo much.
Hey, do you think I am a bad person, like getting out of the car and stuffs? am I the abusive one?
This is bound to happen because you are simply frustrated. But try not to be impulsive and think before you act. it takes two to fight; your actions matter, if you are angry try expressing it calmly. Two wrongs can't make right.
be ready to apologize it saves a lot and try to talk things through as soon as possible. I honestly think your words may have triggered him but his actions were wrong. Note: if you think this Toxic attitude has been going on for a long then try to check if your behavior has been the best too. Don't text him
pls don't, It's a 4yrs relationship, settle the scores and walk away if your inner voice tells you to. So think before you act dear, I regret not doing that before until it's too late.
I get really aggressive when i am with him, in my past relationships that was not the case, but i don't know what happens here, i don't know what to do, countless sleepless nights and nothing in return, i just get blamed.
if i apologize he will see no wrong in his actions, he will just say yes you were, he feels he is never wrong, only i triggered something in him, always, he never apologies for his actions, even when he hits me, he says you were wrong.
Oh girl... I'm so sorry
He hits you... damn I got it all wrong he is narcissistic and the anger is due to the frustration, you are strong and that's why you want to defend yourself. He can never change because he doesn't see the wrong in what he is doing. Girl if you think meeting to talk with him will be harmful in anyway.
You need to give yourself space to breathe, it must be so hard. I'm really you had to go through all of this but remember you are beautiful, and strong and yiu deserve the world
i don't know, i am a completely different person from what i was at the beginning of the relationship, i have become very very annoying and aggressive, my relationship with my family is also going down, i feel stuck, don't know what To do, he makes me feel like I am the abusive one, and he is god that he tolerates me, other man would just leave me in a few days.
i feel empty inside, i feel worse everyday, weak everyday, we recently have an abortion, will was a horrific experience, but then again when in that phase I was angry, he would get angry
That's what they do girl... lowers your self-esteem. he is a narcissist. Pls, try to learn more about this behavior so yiu will understand how devastating your mental health and life are.
yeah he knows every tactic to manipulate, he has no asked once since the incident that am i okay? no. because what comes first is ego, if i try to breakup, he will eventually have all the time in the world to be with me.
how do you think I should handle this situation with dignity, i don't want to be vulnerable, and make a fool of me in front of hundred people
You deserve so much better... pls, what happens next, you will lose yourself pls don't, plz. Imagine if you get married out of fear to someone like that who doesn't give a shit about you, what happens to your freedom or opinion. Every time yiu voice out he will be the shit out of you. and your future kids? do you think he can give them the life they deserve. Girl, your children don't deserve to grow up in a sick environment. I'm broken today because of my childhood. So I'm begging pls don't
You can't even get angry... where are you forced to get the abortion?
my parents too had a bad relationship, maybe that's the reason I am tolerating so much of abuse, maybe what he does feels right to me, i sometimes feel that I am the reason behind everything, maybe he knows i was vulnerable enough to try to manipulate me and make me his toy.
start by accepting and loving yourself, because if you do will see you aren't supposed to be here.
no that was a mutual decision, but i wanted him to be there with me through the process, just to take care of me, but he was not available.
It's okay to be vulnerable, but as long as you are true you can do it. Start by giving yourself reasons to go
i will try loving myself more, enough to not do something soo stupid in the future, even if i would have died today, he would not have come back to see me, so i was just killing myself.
do you think I am reacting okay? or should I change something in me??
Yeah... my parent's relationship is toxic and that's why I'm finding it difficult to love any guy, I'm philophobic. So you see, you feel the need to fix him when you know yiu can't just like your parent, it's all psychology.. yiu ha e to break that pattern
Be grateful for today, you survived next time won't be lucky.
So it's totally normal to run for the sake of your life and mental health
I can understand, it gets difficult when you find a toxic relationship from the very beginning, that's leads to lifetime of being stuck until you realise, what's wrong.
You are more than okay, you are now seeing the millions of red flags. Your reaction is more than okay.
okay tommorow i will text him sorry for today, and then just loose all contacts.
Thank you, you are an amazing person, thank you❤️
Exactly, and the first thing he does it's to break your confidence so will be vulnerable.
lol... you know it's won't be easy
I will pray for you dear.
Tonight, do meditation and write in your diary the reason you should leave and stay... be honest
Okay, thank you , i will try this.
can't thank you enough, i feel lighter, and as if someone really understands me.
Then In a confident but respectful tone, convey your message. Don't rely on fear or weakness. Express your thoughts and words with convicting. And ask him not to communicate with you again by showing him genuine reasons. hope this works, narcissist are had to break off from, because they feed in your fears
You are alone dear. you are welcome, glad I could help.
Okay, i will break off all ties with him, he can't stand being vulnerable all this while, i need strength.
Good luck then... wish yiu the very best. You made the best decision
Thank you, you showed me the right path.
i spoke to him again, he came to my flat, but he only wanted to get physical, and priorities going to his family because his icecream doesnot melt, rather than, speaking to me and sorting things out.