well according to me you should breakup right now because 1. abuse in any form isnt acceptable in a relationship 2. he is gaslighting you bh blaming everything on you.

you talked about abortion , well whats your age ?

Omg, this is horrible! He should not be treating you this way. He does not care for you one bit. I'm oblivious of your story, but what's it with the abortion? If it's his baby, he is acting very weird and irresponsible? You don't deserve him

@happyguy21 i am 24, i know he is doing all these stuff, but i am stuck, i need his financial support, for the process, he said horrible things to me, i don't know how to react, what to do.

see first of all regarding the abortion, do you want to abort the baby? secondly, he doesn't seem to care about you or the baby at all , so don't even think twice before leaving him. does your parent know about this baby u r going to have?? if yes seek financial support from them it else you have your friends

or else*

@excitexTomatoe7 yes it was his, he is treating me like shit, but i am dependent on him for the procedure, i feel neglected and my self worth is detoriating.

@happyguy12 yes i want to abort the baby, i am not financially stable to take this responsibility right now, nor i have any kind of support, he knows this very well, and is therefore treating me like some Shit, just enjoy and then let go.

ok i get it,ik it must be pretty hard for you but you need to leave him. he agreed on giving you the money for abortion, take that money and leave him. according to me this is the best thing to do right now

I agree with happyguy.. take and money and leave that monster who refuses to care for you during testing times. You don't need him. Is there any friend whom you can trust to guide you through the process?

yes, i feel soo stuck, i don't have anyone to support me, i am all alone, and it's getting worse day by day, i just don't know what to do next, it's very difficult, i don't feel like talking to him, he doesnot have an inch of regret.

tell him to give the money and don't contact him after that. you can ask one of your close friend to guide you through the process

@excitedTomatoe7 no, i don't have any friend as such, whom i can share, and they will not judge me, i feel terrible inside, i am soo weak right now, but he cares about what he feels he did was right, i am a bad person here, he is a man, so if he happens to hit me it's all okay.

@happyguy12 yes i will do this, will ask for the money only and get through this stuff all on my own, anyways when he was with me he was not doing much, so I can handle this

yes this might be very hard for you but stay strong and deal with it by yourself. if you need to talk again, get back to this app. Also for how long were you two together??

@happyguy12 we were together for 4 years and counting....i feel clueless don't know what to do, whom to ask for help.

ok wow,4 years together is a pretty long time. Him having the audacity to act this way after impregnating you is self explanatory . All the best to you in this journey , and provided that you don't know whom to ask for help, I can give you my insta id even though I don't think I will be of much help in this case . You can still return back to this app and there will be plenty of people to talk to you

Just talk to a friend you trust. Take them along with you. You'll be fine, sister, alright? take the money and leave..You've seen his true colours.

@happyguy12 it's tough to let go of someone you have known for such a long time, but this has always been a pattern for him, i would let go because he said he was sorry and will never do it again, but he has a habit of it, and now is never even apologetic about his actions, i feel depressed due to his actions, i don't know how to let him go

@excitedTomatoe7 yes, i spoke to him about the money, and i wish I can return back to doing my regular stuffs, due to him i couldnot concentrate on my work, my performance is way bad, i am lagging behind due to this

you are emotionally attached to him and ik how tough it is to let someone go whom you love, but u need to prioritise urself at this point. As you said he keeps on repeating this pattern which makes you feel depressed, i dont think there is any point in staying with him. the first few weeks or days after breakup will be very hard but uk how happy you will be after that

Hmm. Everything will be fine. If he wants to leave you at the moment when you need him the most, then you're better off without him. In a way it's good that it happened now and not after marriage. Since you're just a year younger than me, you might be either studying or working or searching for a job. So I can understand why youre in need of the money for the procedure. If he was serious about leaving you, just take the cash and follow up the procedure. Right now you probably wont be in a state mentally or financially to support another life. So its okay. Dont blame yourself. And try not to hate yourself or regret getting physical and all. If you need someone to talk to just reach out. Ill be here.

You will return to your daily routine.. trust me.. Just be brave enough to walk away from this toxic relationship. Take and money, get the process done. And then focus on your life, on yourself. Cut off from him completely. Focus on your work

@happyguy12, yes i need to let him go, no matter what, I tried it a few months back, but he returned to me, i accepted thinking he would change.

@David6124 he kindof leaves me at the edge everytime, when I started questioning he blamed everything on me and then blocked me from his number, making me desperate to speak to him , i called him multiple times, i don't know what is it he wants from me, i don't want to be involved with him anymore, but i need the money and i am kindof dependent on him for this.

Well you've seen how much he has changed. You gotta be mentally strong. Firstly get the money and get through with the process. You can talk to a close friend who can accompany you and provide support. After that you gotta get back on your feet. Once you get the money, you walk out of his life once and for all. There's no looking back. You're strong and you're a fighter. Show him you're capable to surviving without him. You're better off without him!! Sending you a virtual hug 🤗

@excitedTomatoe7, yes will focus on myself, will make some friends, who can be there with me, because i was in a relationship with him for soo long, he kindof was everything for me, i didnot make much friends during this time, and focused all my energy on him.

@excitedTomatoe7 i will just accept his support financially and let him go, no more emotionally being attached to such a moron, i need to let him go, i will get through this on my own. Thank you for the hug and support

Anytime. we're all here for you if you need anything, ok? Keep us posted when you're done with the process. Wish you good luck !

@cynicalpear2 all the best, keep us updated about how everything is going on.

Tomorrow is the procedure right? Best wishes. He might come back to you again after a while when he feels like. He might say sorry and try to exploit your emotional weaknesses. Please don't let him back in. Take care. I'm not much of a hug person, mostly a head pat kinda guy. So consider that I've given one. Tc

@excitedTomatoe7 Thank you, i appreciate everybody's support and we'll wishes, i wish to come out of it asap

@happyguy12 thank you soo much for being here.

@David6124 he is being soo mean to me right now, i called him for discussions this, he blamed again everything on me, i brought the talk from days back, and compared me to his ex partner, thank you for being here, he thinks the process is not important, it will come out automatically.

did u talk to him about getting the money for the procedure?

@happyguy12 yes is spoke to him, only some part of the procedure is remaining, he thinks it is not important, but he will send the money, also he said why should he pay for everything, i said because you earn more, i am not yet financially stable, he said he will send the money but will have nothing to do with me in the future, he is 'fed' up of my behaviour, and wants to leave.

ok thats great, just take the money and cut off all contacts with him. stay strong , make new friends , spend time with urself and u will eventually move on pretty soon

@happyguy12 i hope so, he is just being an ass to me, no empathy, no compassion, only brutally naming me, calling me names, i am so done with this, i will find a better way myself.

did he behave this same way the past 4 years ? or has he started acting like this recently?

It's good that you're extracting money out of him. You should definitely get the entire thing done! Be on the safer side. But don't ever go back to him ever again. Take it as a lesson. You're young and you've way more to achieve. Close this chapter here and move on. You'll do great!

@happyguy12 he has always been this way, but eventually everything got better, but from some days he has been acting more aggressively, the day i shifted to this new city, i felt things would be better, but now he has been acting more aloof, and has been treating me very very bad, i feel so left alone.

@excitedTomatoe7 yes, i will get this process done and move away, will live a few days with my family and then get

new city? are you guys in a LDR? well even if he was like this all before but eventually got better , it doesnt give him the right to act like this . Do you think him acitng like this is somehow related to the pregnancy?

* all over this, this has been the worst few months of my life, and i need to get away, i deserve someone who can treat me good, not blame me because he slapped me.

@happyguy12 no earlier we were, but now we live in the same city, i came here because of him. When i came here, we stayed a few days with each other, but he would still beat the shit out of me, and then the next day all lovey dovey, all the love, hugging, kissing, cuddling, only for me to forgive what he has done, but this time, he didnot have the curtosy to even be like that, rest is irrelevant.

You most certainly deserve someone who loves you treats you right. Don't ever compromise on that. You deserve to be treated with respect.

@excitedTomatoe7 You are right, he is not even doing the bare minimum, you see someone is pain and automatically your heart pounds, but his, not even for someone he claims he loves

And he is equally responsible for getting you pregnant. It's his child too after all. This is not what a gentleman does. Abandoning you when you need him the most. All he could have done was shown some support by accompanying you and staying by your side. But anyway be glad that you saw him for who he is

you are right, i have been in this situation and i have let everything go, i am a forever kind of person, i believed he is the one, so i just went through all the bullshit ways he treated me, when i needed the most he abandoned me, even when i was in pain , he said he is also going through a lot, and he cannot take away my pain, i am foolish to expect something from him at all, it is my body, and i have to suffer

You should have taken the initial signs of violence as red flags. But this was definitely an eye opener for you. You'll definitely find someone worthy of your time and love, but until then, keep loving yourself and focus on your well being. Eat healthy, stay healthy, take care of yourself and your body 😊

blaming everything on you? if it's okay, may I ask what he's blaming on you

@excitedTomatoe7 is should have, i led my life in a very disturbing way, my friends, my family all warned me about this man, but i was soo much in love to let it go, I tried to forget him a few months back, but he came back, tried to convince me a lot, was always there, sharing stuffs, i felt maybe he has changed, but it has got even worse, i regret spending soo much time on him, he was there when i had some setbacks so it felt like he is there for me when no one is, i am just so confused by his behaviour.

@David6124 that I provoked so he hit me, i let him get physical with me so these are the consequences, i am not good enough therefore I deserve to be treated this way, if i was good, he would have never let his hands on me.

Well you have your final answer now. Don't waste any more of your time or energy on him. Just block him after you're done with the abortion.

Wow. He actually said that? My ex used to try and be physical with me before we were even together. At that time I didn't even have feelings for her. After agreeing to be her bf for the final year of btech since I felt bad for her, she used to continue trying in the initial days. I used to get angry at her and tell her to stop. Cause I didn't have feelings for her, even though sexual tension was there. After 6-7 months I don't know how but I fell for her, after a while I told her that I love her. I didn't reject her physical interactions. We started getting intimate. So in my experience whether it's a guy or a girl, they have the option to say no. Even if he claims that you let him get physical with you, in the end it was his choice to whether accept that or reject it. He can't blame you for that. Even if he blames you, just don't blame yourself, you did it cause you were in love. And getting physical is a part of it. In real life I'm an introvert, I don't know how to talk much face to face, I only know how to express myself through physical means(not always sexual)

@excitedTomatoe7 he apologized yesterday, helped me move my stuff, he did all sort of things, said he loves me, and then again today when i said something he started getting angry, it has been soo worse that I am confused, he loves me or he doesnot, i am caught in a trap.

@David6124 i too feel it's the part of the relationship, but blaming everything on a certain person is wrong, i didnot go to him, i started speaking to me, he had a very different aura all positive, good looks, great personality, people who don't know him personally would feel like what a great man, but he can get from bad to good, and good to bad in no time, i have always wanted a man like him, but he is making my life worse, not accepting his mistake, doing good deeds only when he feels like, and when i try speaking about the rest he gets angry, as if i am making his mornings bad.

@cynicalpear2 just bc he came back to apologise, dont take him back . U already know what kind of a person he is ,until and unless you want the same cycle to be repeated again dont accept him back. just take the money and block him

Isn't it today that you have to go n see doc?

@happyguy12 yes trying to do it, i have been trying for soo many days, i am not able to break the cycle, it's very difficult, i am stuck in this abusive cycle, he appreciates me then devalues me, he helps me then the other second he gets angry at me.

@David6124 no it has been delayed.

Just leave him. He has gotten accustomed to you taking him back each time. Hitting you is not acceptable. Abandoning you when you need to have an abortion is not acceptable. All I would say to you is to be firm and decisive. Don't let this continue. He isn't going to change. You've seen enough red flags. It's time for you to make a conclusive decision and that is upto you now

Even though I do feel like this is a toxic relationship, I won't force you to leave him. It's your choice. Cause in the end I'm just one of the random guys who's texting to your query from one corner of south India. In the end whether you leave him or not right now, you will face many more like him before you find the one meant for you. That time most of us who's edging you to leave him won't be here, and maybe this app itself might not be here, then you'll have to make that decision by yourself, whether to leave that person or to stay in that toxic relationship and be hurt always till end of time.

@excitedTomatoe7 he has made me soo much dependent on him, like even if i want to make a slightest decision, or want to go somewhere, do something on my own, i have the tendency to just call him and ask him, if this is what I should do, i don't have any friends anymore because i was so engrossed in making him happy, that I forgot all about myself, i am just scared how will I continue without him

@cynicalpear2 i can understand, u were basically obsessed with him and it will be hard to move on from him but u will slowly and eventually make it. trust me❤️

@David6124 i understand i don't want this to be my life forever, i just want to live a normal life, it is soo much to go through right now, i have never in my life imagined i would be soo much dependent on someone, my parents never abused me or hit me, but i am allowing a third person to do that to me, and i am acting okay, no prblm, maybe i deserved it.

@happyguy12 thank you, i just want to get out of this, you are a great person, thank you❤️

@cynicalpear2 all the best to you ❤️ let us know if u need anymore help

It'll definitely take you months to move on.. but you'll be glad you made the wise choice. Imagine having to put up with his toxic traits for a lifetime! You deserve better. You'll get back up.. And you'll come back stronger.

Try not to blame yourself. Don't think like you deserve that, it's punishment from God for not listening to parents/friends... etc these are normal thoughts to have at a time like this. But just know you're a good person and you will find someone who understands that part of you and loves you the same. Initial days after breakup would be hard. You won't feel like eating, sleep won't come, will feel lost, heart aching like crazy, tears filling up whenever you think about it, the gifts that are lying in room that he/she gave, reminders popping out when you see the places you have been to before, not being able to concentrate, people talking around you but your mind is lost somewhere else, dark thoughts creeping up, the filled up contact list with Noone to talk to, these all will be there. But just don't give up. You will be fine once you make it through. A part of you will still hurt for sometime with the reminders, but you will be fine. Try to make friends, have tea/coffee with them, take time to enjoy alone too, watch the sunset, write, paint, whichever makes you feel good try to do those. And no sad songs. Also if you're feeling like crying, just cry. There is no shame in crying whether it's a guy or a girl.

@excitedTomatoe7 yes you are right, i should not feel the need to be with someone right now, i am well off alone, thank you, i will not settle for anything less, thank you for being here, you are an amazing person❤️

@David6124 Yes it will be difficult, i will go live with my parents for a while, that would be a nice distraction, i will focus on my health, my well being, meet some old friends, concentrate on myself, try to neglect him as much as possible, and drop all contacts, thank you for being such a great support, you are a great person thank you❤️

We're here to support each other. Please take care of yourself. I'm here for you if you need help or advice. You're strong, and you're a fighter. Take care 🤗

@excitedTomatoe7 thank you soo much

Hmm. Take care. Be well.