I'm talking to this really great guy right now. Our interest, ideals, and visions match completely. But, I cannot get myself to be in a relationship with him. It's not just about him, I've been running away from relationships all my life. Even serious friendships. Thinking about them sets off panic and extreme anxiety in me. My parents had an ugly divorce when I was younger so that might the reason. When I'm alone at night, I hate myself for being so damaged because this way no one will ever love me. My friends are getting married and here I can't even date.