anxiety and depression, unable to get out of past regret
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It's about my anxiety which is getting worse now. I think I'm slowly heading towards to depression. It started in April. It came out of nowhere. 4 years ago, I committed a terrible mistake. I was dating a guy (a cheap playboy) back then. I was too young and innocent to understand what was going on. I was 18. I, very unfortunately, went to a public park with him. The park appeared to be for couples, as a lot of lovebirds were roaming around and having their romantic moments. We did too. But I felt like we were being watched. We checked but no one was around. But I could feel a presence. We spent few more minutes and left the place. That's the story, but that's what the problem is. Since April, I can't stop myself from thinking about the worst outcomes of these few moments that took place 4 years ago. I got all my doubts and fears back, and I'm asking myself every moment- What if someone has shot us? What if the video has been posted? What if I'm recognisable? What will happen if it appears in front of my family? I was good all these years, but since last 8 months, I can't feel stable. I think about this happening day and night. I don't have anybody to talk to. I cant deal with it anymore. I want to feel peace.. I don't know what to do... I'm not even able to interact with my parents. I can't even look into their eyes. I'm totally filled with guilt and shame. I tried to divert my mind... I'm trying to study and work... But the anxiety isn't letting me live peacefully... I need help and advice... Do you think my fears will come true? What are the chances? If anything bad happens, how can I hide it from my family? Please help me.

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