Hi everyone. So this lockdown was hard for everyone and me. It opened a whole new side of me that was always there but i didn't know. So i found out that i have anxiety disorder and I got 2 panic attacks and now I always get anxiety attacks once a week. And I haven't been to a psychologist or any therapy because I can't. My parents won't let me. And I'm under 18 so I don't really have a choice. And since a few weeks I've been feeling very low and I googled it up to find I have smiling depression– something I always thought about but never. knew. Again, I haven't diagnosed for anything but I match all the symptoms. And now since 2 days, I've been feeling so so low and I had 2 huge breakdowns. And all I can think about is Suicide, the only way out, but somehow I can't. I want to hold on but I don't have anything to hold to. And I want to get help but my parents have backward thinking and they would never understand.