i feel like my mind is cluttered all the time. i try to put my focus on my work, and end up loosing friends, feeling guilty of working hard. and this has happened several times. i feel so lonely, so exhausted. i wake up with anxiety about planning my day. my family is falling apart too. no place feels safe. i believe in God a lot, maybe thats the only thing keeping me sane these days. and like every night when i pray, i wish for death. so it all can just end. this is the best i could do with the task of expressing my situation in words.