My story is bit different and many of you will find it absurd or extremely weird but it's true. Do not judge. I am 24 years old, Jobless preparing for an exam since last 2 years, parents growing older, I am gay(discreet) and I am in a relationship (Long distance currently, earlier we used to live in a same city ) a 66 year old man who is married. We love each other, I would not say it's like a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but we are more like a father and son, he guides me in every step of life and helps me every situation. I am stuck in a lifestyle where I feel I don't have hope with my future. Plus this covid made the situation even worst, because of that no exams and delay in my career, Plus it makes me anxious and created a fear of losing my parents and my 66 Y/o friend. All my school friends are not settled and started earning, some of them even get married and I am still dependent on my parents, if feels really bad. I have lost focus and I have become a porn addict now, also because my 66 y/o doesn't live near to me, I have started casually hook ups in my city which I am very guilty of. I have become extremely lazy person, earlier I used to be very productive person and people used to like me because of my quirky sense of humor. My parents have a high Hopes with me and of course they should've because they have spent a large chunk of money on my education and let me tell you that we come from a very humble background. All I want now is to clear my exam, Start working in the city where my 66 y/o friend lives and make my father retire from his work and give my mom and dad a peaceful and happy life. Please help me people and don't judge me because of my relationship.