Hey! Kya hua aapko esa kya lagta hai jise aap pareshaan hain?

Main jab class 8 me padhta tha tabhi se mujhe ladko se attraction aa raha hai. But ye mujhe kabhi koi problem nahi laga mujhe laga bada hoker ye thik ho jaayega main is baare me jyada sochta bhi nahi tha mujhe attraction achcha bhi lag raha tha but ab jab mujhe is baare me pta chal gaya hai tab se mujhe bahut darr lag raha hai main soch raha hoon ki 1. Main apni family se jhoot bol raha hoon . main aisa hoon ye baat meri family ko kyun nahi pta hai? yadi wo log mujhse pyar karte hai to unhe mujhe waise hi accept karna chahiye jaise main hoon. main apni family ke expectations ko pura nahi kar paunga. yadi mujhe bachpan me pta hota toh main unse keh deta ki aap log koi bachcha plan kar lo. 2. main apni family ko abhi hi bta doonga aur yadi wo nahi samjhe to main unhe bolunga ki mujhe psychiatrist ke pass le jaaye but yadi Ye aage chal kar change ho gaya toh ? aur maine you tube me aise bahut saare videos dekhe hai jisme doctor kehte hai ki wo homosexuality ko thik kar sakte hain 3. Kya main sach me gay hoon kyun ki ye sach hai ki mujhe sirf aur sirf ladko se hi attraction aata hai but jab bhi main masterbation karta hoon tab ye sochta hoon ki ek aadmi ek aurat ke saath sex kar raha hai. But mujhe ladkiyo se koi attraction nahi aata phir bhi mujhe lagta hai ki mujhe kisi ladki se pyaar ho sakta hai . Mere man me sirf ladko ke baare me hi sexual taughts aate hai but masterbation ke time nahi aata . Main bed per ulta letkar masterbation karta hoon. 4. Main sochta hoon ki main yadi ladkiyo ki taraf jabarjasti dekhne ki aadat daalunga toh kuch hi dino me mujhe ladkiyo se attraction aane lagega . Kyun ki maine apni kuch Aadaton jaise main pehle bahut mithaiyaan aur biskit khaya karta tha but maine unhe chodne ki kosis karke is aadat ko chod diya . Is aadat ko chode huye 3yrs ho chuke hai . but main ye nahi chahta ki main heterosexual ban jaaun but phir bhi mujhe ye karna padega . 5. Mera koi bhai ya behen nahi hai yadi maine is aadat ko nahi choda toh main ekdum akela reh jaaunga 5. Main apne school me jyada kisi se baat chit nahi karta tha mera koi friend bhi nahi hai . Mere kisi bhi tuition main koi bhi ladka nahi tha . Meri jyadatar female friends thi . But main ek ladka hoon toh mere liye yahi achcha hai ki mere Male friends jyada ho kyun ki hum aisi society me rehte hai jaha ladko ka ladko ke saath hi jyada milna julna hota hai etc. I think aap samajh sakti hai ki main kya kehna chah raha hoon is wajah se mere andar heen bhawna paida ho gayi hai jiski wajah se mujhme suicidal tendencies aa gayi hai. 7. 14 Nov 2020 ko maine apne aap se kaha ki main gay hoon mujhe 1 month tak toh bahut achcha laga . but ye sab kuch toh imaginary tha .Maine jab ye sab kuch bhulne ki kosis ki to main nahi bhula pa raha tha . mujhe ye sab kuch imaginary hi lag raha hai . mujhe pta hai ki reality me ye sab kuch nahi ho sakta. pichle 6 months se main sirf yahi sab soch raha hoon . mujhe kabhi kabhi bahut ghabrahat, bechainy ho rahi hai. mere hath pair kapne lagte hai , chillaney ka mann karta hai , main akele mein kabhi kabhi rota bhi hoon . 8. mujhe jis wakt apne future carrier ke baare me sochna chahiye us wakt main ye sab soch raha hoon. ek din bhi aisa nahi jata jab main is baare me nahi sochta. 9. jab maine pehli baar khud ko accept kiya tha tab main bhagwaan ko thanks bol raha tha mujhe aisi feelings dene ke liye but jab mai homosexuality aur heterosexuality me phayda nukshaan dekh raha hoon tab mujhe lag raha hai ki ye pap hai , Iska koi phayda nahi hai isse bas main barbaad ho jaaunga. 10. meri maa mujhse bahut pyar karti hai wo toh bilkul toot hi jaayegi . unhe samajhne me bhi problem hoga kyun ki wo educated bhi nahi hai . halanki iska education se jyada lena dena nahi kyun ki ye jaroori nahi hai ki educated parents apne bachchon ko achche se samjhe . ye logo ki mindset per depend karta hai

Mujhe humesa se pta tha ki mujhe ladko me interest hai. Main may 2019 se porn dekh raha hoon ( maximum gay porn) . Main mahine me 3-4 baar hi porn dekhta hoon. But tab bhi mujhe koi problem nahi tha . Mujhe ye nahi pta tha ki ye sab real me bhi hota hai . 6 month pehle jab maine is baare me search kiya iss baare me jaanne ki kosis ki toh iss baare me jankar mera halat kharaab ho gya

Me smjh salti hu ki ye aapke liye bht mushkil hoga, lekin ye to saaf hai ki aapko ladko se hi attraction hai. Aapko khud ko accept krna chaeye. Me smjh sakti hu ki aapko darr lag rha hai Ma bap ka khyaal aarha hai Bht kuch lag rha hoga lekin ye sab bass itni hi der tk hai jab tk aap iske baare me chintit hain, Sabse pehle khud ko accept kriye, or iske liye confident rhiye. Aapke parents bhi aapko smjhenge, dheere dheere unhe bhi smjhana hoga. Sirf ladkiyon ko dekhne ss agar attraction hota to aapki bht ss dost reh chuki hain aapko unme se kisise attraction hota, lekin aapko attraction sirf ladko se hai, aap gay porn bhi dekhte hain. Isme koi buri baat nhi hai. Attraction bht natural hai ye koi binaari nhi jo Psychiatrist theek krdein, jo log iska dawa krte hain wo ghalt hain. Esi koi dawai nhi homosexuality ko khatm krde kyuki ye koi bimari hai hi nhi. Aapke maa baap k liye bhi aapka khush rehna zruri hai, or wo aapko khush hote hue hi dekhna chahte hain. Esa nhi hai ki isse koi jiwan khatm ho skta hai Aap bhi sabki trah apni life bhi shuru krskte ho apne pasand ke partner k sath. Ye sab bht normal hai, aap ghabrie mat. Hum session pr or ache se iss bare me baat krakte hain agar aap ko theek lge.