hey you have come so far, you'll get through it. i don't know what's happened to you but try and get past it (you will, you can). do things that make u truly happy. talk to the people you rely on. there are so many things/opportunities out there waiting for you to grab them and you are such a young soul. try to be optimistic. talk to a professional they can help you in a better way. I trust u don't feel like it's a bad thing to do as you are opening up here. take care buddy.