i want some advice on my relationship can you help me with that
thrilledfalcon25
1
yes i'll try
thrilledfalcon25
1
my best
skylar
you can share anything u want.
nishjay
are you from india not asking about your personal information its just a few things are region specific
skylar
well I'm from India
thrilledfalcon25
most users are from india dont worry
nishjay
okayy so there's a guy i love
nishjay
he says that he loves me too but can't be in a relationship beacuse we do not have a future
nishjay
i know too that we do not have a future cosidering all the situation
nishjay
but i can't get over him
skylar
why do guys u dont have any future? if u dont mind me asking
nishjay
umm.. we are from same village and according to customs you can not marry a person of your village
nishjay
i want to be with him so badly... i feel anxious when he doesn't talk to me
thrilledfalcon25
pretty similar to gotra system in hinduism isnt it
skylar
huh, why? I know there can be some weird rules ? but any specific regions?
nishjay
rajasthan
skylar
gotra system is based on ur kundali I think
thrilledfalcon25
ya bt same gotra marriage is prohibitted
nishjay
gotra here means caste
thrilledfalcon25
ya
thrilledfalcon25
moving to the point...
skylar
yeah I know that, but I mean to know that u both are from same gotra, ull ve to consult some experienced priest
nishjay
gotra is not a problem here same village iss
thrilledfalcon25
yes i get it
skylar
nishjay - gotra and caste are two diff things. u can be from same caste yet diff gotra
thrilledfalcon25
have u discussed openly to ur family????
thrilledfalcon25
skylar i agree
nishjay
so i tried to move on from him.. but he keeps on coming back to me.. one day he'll act like he loves and another day he just ignores me... he goes hit and cold on me
thrilledfalcon25
u r pretty right
nishjay
gotra is not a concern guys... everthing is fine except this village thing
skylar
so does your villager have that concept - like one village, one family - aka sibling kinda thing? that's why u r prohibited?
thrilledfalcon25
so it is obviously clear u have to understand the situation, i decide
nishjay
i just want to know if he really cares about me or not
thrilledfalcon25
*u decide
nishjay
i'm confused due to his behaviour
thrilledfalcon25
1
may be if he goes hit and cold on you may be he is testing ur love
thrilledfalcon25
u have to talk to him openly
nishjay
4 days ago we talked over phone he was so happy and really wanted to talk and ge said he will talk to me.. but now he's kinda ignoring me
skylar
communication is the key, ask him- simply give him an ultimatum, like either be together or just move on. simply going back and forth is not good for both of ur mental health- it'll turn toxic.
nishjay
he said you can move on then he said can i talk to you sometimess
nishjay
is he playing me??
skylar
do u guys have homo Or hetero relationship? (not trying to be rude) keep in mind things wont be easy going either way
nishjay
hetroo
thrilledfalcon25
we all can only support u give some tips, but ultimately u have to take actions bravely and handlenur situation, i hope u understand
nishjay
i'm a girl and he's a guy
nishjay
i just want to be sure if he loves me or not
nishjay
this questions drives me crazyy
thrilledfalcon25
have u tried not talking for a while and he approaches u and misses u
skylar
I agree with thrilledfalcon25, ull ve to speak, how u feel about this whole back and forth thing... even after communicating he's same - I think u know the ans, what does that mean
nishjay
yes he doo... we stop talking completely and then a month later he texts me this happens everytime
nishjay
he has kept my photos and stalks my social media
thrilledfalcon25
so its clear he misses u
nishjay
pleas be clear skyler... don't confuse me even more i rquest you tell me clearlyy what it means
thrilledfalcon25
skyler is right , she is just saying to have clear approach
nishjay
does it mean that he's playing me
thrilledfalcon25
1
just have a clear conversation with him that, what he is doing hurts u too much from inside
nishjay
okk
thrilledfalcon25
i hope this sorts out from his side
skylar
sorry lol, I kinda disappeared in mid of conv. (duty calls) , well nishjay I didnt mean to confuse u or anything. just be strong enough to face whatever it is coming. and don't be afraid to voice ur thoughts. or anything that makes you uncomfortable .
thrilledfalcon25
ya that i was telling
thrilledfalcon25
lol now i am feeling lonely i donnow why
dudy
I'm also facing the same problem that nishjay have
nishjay
1
thank you guys so much for helping me out... i have came to a conclusion and i decided not to talk to him atleast for a while if not ever again... i told him that its very toxic and hurting me and i want to move on now...
nishjay
i think this is for best for us...keping our feelings aside i'll have to be practical
skylar
@nishjay I'm proud of you, for choosing yourself and ur mental health before anyone else.
nishjay
dudy.. you'll not get anything out of it except for pain so sooner you move on better it is for you.. trust me i've been through itt... just get over it in any way possible