I don't know what was the reason and things that led me to what iam struggling now .Have always been a timid ,low self esteem and overthinking person .sometimes instead of facing the problem I tend to ignore it .For someone as simple girl like me who doesn't know the how this shity world work is too much .Gone through some tough relationship that bend down my self esteem further .Had cried for them ,trying to make them stay by consolting myself that everything is okay when every bid of your guts tells you it's wrong .I've been deceit by them .I still feel shit about how could I hold on to someone knowing everything.Forgetting my self image self respect begging them to stay.For in which if I stay I would be trap in the pattern forever. Took 5 long years to come to another relationship(married) when now I wanted to be heard but iam still in the same cycle .Facing the torment knowing how unhappy iam in this relationship ,without any mental peace .But so scared to leave .