I've been having problems in my long distance relationship where my bf won't give me time or attention. I understand that he is busy but at this point I think he is doing it on purpose. i tried talking about it but he said i sound toxic and stupid.

Question

cockylizard3 · Answer

it's just he is playing  blame game there is nothing toxic ans stupid in this  ..what u r doing is very obvious as u r trying to save your love ur relationship...cause us know long distance is not easy but u r trying and putting efforts ..but on the other side ur partner don't give a damn to your efforts and feelings...he don't care for u...bro I'm facing same  ..I know how it feels

cockylizard3 · Answer

what u do to cope up with situation..?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I tried to speak to him.. In fact I'm trying since3 months now but he won't change and instead blame me then when i get triggered he starts ghosting me. we have been dating since 2 years now and i know that it was not like this in the start of the relationship. Earlier in the beginning he would talk to me and keep texting me throughout the day and now he only calls me in the night i try to ignore him though

cockylizard3 · Answer

are u from India.?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I don't know how to cope up with it . I already have a lot to deal with at home and in college I'm trying my best.

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

yes i am from India. what about you??

cockylizard3 · Answer

yeah I'm also indian

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

that's nice .

cockylizard3 · Answer

@dreadfulgarlic2 you sounds so similar to my situation bro that college thing as well

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

😭😭 how do you deal with it?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

it's starting to affect my grades too

cockylizard3 · Answer

same yr even the situation has gone this far sometimes I fee guilty

cockylizard3 · Answer

feel* guilty.

cockylizard3 · Answer

I feel useless

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

SAME!!! I've started gettinga lot of anxiety and then he blames me for it saying that 'you are making me go crazy' he said I'm very TOXIC and i don't understand anything

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I want to move on but I'm not able to he won't let me leave NITHER will be give me his attention

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

he*

cockylizard3 · Answer

same yr I also think of moving on but not able to do

cockylizard3 · Answer

it's not easy ...it's like I'm just a way of entertainment for my partner...after I get usee the Blame game starts

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

it's getting frustrating

cockylizard3 · Answer

and later what all lest is me alone with no hope

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

exactly! it's like i try to have a calm conversation and he is like you don't like anything i do

cockylizard3 · Answer

I became aggressive to myself

cockylizard3 · Answer

exactly exactly

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

aggressive? what do you do?

cockylizard3 · Answer

bro u are speaking out me

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

😭😭i feel you it's horribleeee

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

are you a girl or a boy..?

cockylizard3 · Answer

use to thow my things sometimes even phone ..use to crawl myself

cockylizard3 · Answer

I'm boy

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I used to harm myself..

cockylizard3 · Answer

yes it's like bs tadap ne liye they left alone with no light

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I started getting panic attacks and i tried to talk to my friends about it so my friends got worried and spoke to my bf and my bf was like you only want attention from everyone

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

he tried to make me feel guilty about having anxiety

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

then my friends blocked me too..🥲

cockylizard3 · Answer

harm ..what u do?

cockylizard3 · Answer

u r literally speaking Inner me

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

when i get panic attacks the only way i calm down is when i cut myself so the blood distracts me

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

but i didn't fake it for attention mtlb me pagal to nahi hu ki khud ko harm Karu maze ke liye🤦🏻‍♀️😐

cockylizard3 · Answer

I know it's not fake

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

usne bola ki 'tujhe kya jarurat hai tere friends ko bolneke liye u already trouble me so much now you are troubling your friends too'

cockylizard3 · Answer

even I don't have to talk or to share

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

idk why i am getting blamed

cockylizard3 · Answer

I left hope

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

samee i wanna break up but i am not able to

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

plus i have alot of pending studies to do too

cockylizard3 · Answer

u r innocent I know..and this blame game hurts us

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

it was nice talking to you though!

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

it's like they just don't want to feel guilty so they blame us

cockylizard3 · Answer

I also want to and move on but I don't know how should I do that

skylar · Answer

I went through this comment thread... and the first thing I want to ask.... do you know how to handle your panic attacks?

cockylizard3 · Answer

I don't have freinds or anyone

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I'm still trying to figure out how to handle it

skylar · Answer

@lizard - u r going through same? relationship issues?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I thought if i talk about it someone might help but as i said my boy friend says i am faking it

cockylizard3 · Answer

@dreadfulgarlic2 same nice talking to you

cockylizard3 · Answer

yeah @Skylar

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

so i tried to convince myself that i am faking it but then it only got worse to the point where i loose control of myself

skylar · Answer

you want to some techniques to calm yourself while having panic  attacks?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

yes @skylar

skylar · Answer

if you keep telling urself that u r faking it.... ur brain will start believing it..

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I thought so too but it's not helping. I tried meditation but that didn't help either

cockylizard3 · Answer

@skylar we are forced to assume so ...it's not easy to not blaming ourselves after such treatment

skylar · Answer

okay... first check out breathing therapy on this app, and try to do same when your facing attack, 2nd is diverting ur focus techniques.... ask ur a few ques like - 1) any 4 things u see around urself. 2) 3 things u can feel. 3) 2things u can hear 2) I thing u can taste.

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I will try that out.. i hope it helps

skylar · Answer

@cockylizard - I understand that, but feeling like it's ur fault  and starting telling urself that's it ur fault are different things... former case is involuntary whereas later is literally like force feeding ur brain that u r faking it.

skylar · Answer

@garlic - do u know ur triggers?

cockylizard3 · Answer

@Skylar it's something grounded technique or box I don't remember the name

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

@skylar no I'm not sure of what triggers me yet... it's just confusing

skylar · Answer

yeah grounding techniques where u divert ur focus to keep urself grounded

skylar · Answer

okay, @garlic- can u share how you feel just before attack comes?

cockylizard3 · Answer

yeah I tried

skylar · Answer

@lizard - I've been noticing ur interaction with other people, I must say u r improving in this communication thingy.

cockylizard3 · Answer

thanks skylar

skylar · Answer

I guess garlic disappeared

cockylizard3 · Answer

yeah seems like

cockylizard3 · Answer

@dreadfulgarlic2 u there bro.? if u r there please reply

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

hello

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I'm sorry i got busy

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

before the panic attack... restless, i move a lot and i feel out of breath and my head hurts @skylar

skylar · Answer

that's okay, we get that, I meant what thought goes into ur head?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

flashbacks of bad memories

cockylizard3 · Answer

@dreadfulgarlic I would love be  friend..if u want

skylar · Answer

are you comfortable talking about them?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

@cockylizard THAT WOULD BE GREAT!

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

@skylar I'm not sure about it yet..

skylar · Answer

hmm... tell me what it's about... if u r comfortable... you can be vague about it

cockylizard3 · Answer

dreadfulgarlic2 💯💙

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

@skylar i have some problems at home and the people who i was close to left me so..

cockylizard3 · Answer

@dreadfulgarlic2 ...Instagram..?

skylar · Answer

u can tell more? what  is it about  betrayal, abandonment, miscommunication,misunderstanding?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

@cokylizard yes my Id is fries_000

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

@skylar between my friends misunderstanding. at home my parents don't live together so it's stressful and as for academics I've been waiting for some e-mails but i still didn't receive them so it's adding up

cockylizard3 · Answer

karmali..?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

yes

skylar · Answer

have u tried communicating with them?

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

I've tried to talk to my friends but they don't reply

dreadfulgarlic2 · Answer

with my parents noi haven't..

skylar · Answer

they don't reply as in on social media Or in real life?

skylar · Answer

you can give it a try with ur parents... at times it can help

Frustrating

help me please

how do I change for the better?