Me and my bf talk to each other everyday while he goes to work and returns from it, and the rest of the day we have minimal contact, so basically when he goes and comes that's my time, and i sort everything out according to the schedule, yesterday when i was talking to him, we got into a very small argument, he hung up on me mid conversation, I tried calling him multiple times, and when i was calling for the 9th time he was speaking to some other women, i called rigorously, and then when I asked him he lied that he was talking to his mother, but i caught him and confronted him, i am seriously so pissed of right now, i asked him to not be with me anymore, there is no place for lies in a relationship, but i am feeling very anxious from yesterday, he has been a good partner lately, but we have had some serious shit in the past, what should I do?

Question

David6124 · Answer

Another woman as in a friend?

happyguy12 · Answer

serious shit in the sense?

cynicalpear2 · Answer

No, i doubt him of having some relation with her, because earlier too he has lies me about being with her, and then we broke up for 6-7 months, he came back, but now i think the same scenario is repeating.

happyguy12 · Answer

now that's fucked up. do u really think he changed?

cynicalpear2 · Answer

serious shit as in, he has lied to me, tried to manipulate me, and also blamed everything on me, i asked him to stay once, but he hit me, i don't know what to do, he would then do some good things and I tend to forgive him.

David6124 · Answer

Oh. How did u catch his lie that he was talking to that girl at that time? when u called 9th time I mean

David6124 · Answer

He hit you?

cynicalpear2 · Answer

he told things will be different this time, while asking me to be with him, so many apologies and good work, but as soon as I was with me, the same old shit repeated and in more fast paced manner.

happyguy12 · Answer

you were clearly in a toxic relationship from whatever you just said that used to happen in the past. it wasn't right for you to forgive him but now that u two are back, have you started noticing any changes in his behavioural pattern?

happyguy12 · Answer

i will suggest you to breakup with him, ur mental health needs more priority than him.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

Yes, he first denied, i asked him multiple times, he denied, but then when he called next time he accepted, before that he was blaming me that you are getting back to your old behaviour, you don't trust me and bla bla bla....

David6124 · Answer

So he hasn't changed. Do you think he's in this relationship right now with you cause he has something to gain from you? Is there something like that you can think off?

cynicalpear2 · Answer

yes he did, when i asked him to stay a bit longer, when he asked me to clean his drawer and i said no i am not your wife, when after having some drinks i asked him to commit to me.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

he blames everything on me, he pokes me, triggers me, and when i react he calms down and pretends as of its all my fault, i have thrown things at him due to anger, and he then acts calm and blames everything on me.

David6124 · Answer

Don't mind me saying this. But he's not a good person. And is probably using you for his own benefit. If he didn't have anything to hide from you, he would've told he was talking to her that time. Yes, there was a chance that you might get angry of him talking to her, but nevertheless it would've been nice if he could be more open rather than hide behind walls like that. It kinda ruins the relationship. Trust me.

happyguy12 · Answer

how old are you @cynicalpear2??

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i am stuck in this toxic loop, if anything good happens i forget everything in the past, i did forgive him because he said he would change, he would commit to me.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

exactly my point, it would have hurt less if he told me the truth, my brain feels like it's about to blast.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i am 23

David6124 · Answer

It's normal for us to want everything to work out and forgive the other person for one more chance. Don't blame yourself. He has been taking those Opportunities for granted as well as your love for him.

happyguy12 · Answer

what he says doesn't matter, the way he is behaving matters. u can clearly see he hasnt changed a bit and is still  quite toxic . also as u r saying, there might be a chance he is cheating on you . it will be the best for you if leave this rs asap

cynicalpear2 · Answer

he prioritises everything above me, i said i don't want to speak to you, he has not even tried since yesterday, he is enjoying his weekend, and here i am suffering.

happyguy12 · Answer

@david i agree with you . he is taking you @pear2 for granted as he has noticed that no matter what he does, you will eventually forgive him . the last time when u brokeup he realised his mistake and came back apologizing but now that u have started to forgive him again , his old behavioral pattern is getting repeated .

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i don't know what i do wrong, but i am stuck in these kind of relationship, the things I thought I will never bear in a relationship, i am

happyguy12 · Answer

are you two in the same college or office?

happyguy12 · Answer

attachment can make a person do things they never thought they would. i can relate to what u r feeling and ik its hard for you to leave him, but you need to do this in order to gain back your mental peace

happyguy12 · Answer

the 6-7 months break u two had, how were u feeling in that period of time?

David6124 · Answer

Okay so listen. We need to know if he's using you. For that you will have to stop taking care of his needs, whether it's financial or physical. Deny everything. Try it for a week. If he's just with u for his own benefit you would know by the end of next week. Then you can decide what to do.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

I have been there for him, when he had no job, no one around, but as the things are changing so is he, i have lent him money so many times, no sign of returning it back.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

no, not in the same office.

David6124 · Answer

when he came back to u after the break, did he ask u of money or something when you guys were kinda okaish

cynicalpear2 · Answer

that's true

cynicalpear2 · Answer

i was sad, but was with my family, so it was easier.

cynicalpear2 · Answer

no when we were in relationship, he would ask for money saying he would return it.

David6124 · Answer

He's financially stable now?

cynicalpear2 · Answer

yes he stable now.

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