it's like loving a person over and over even tho I know that it's hurting so bad
David6124
have you talked to him about this?
ihavenoidea
the things we did it's repeating again! and I don't want me to get hurt I don't wanna feel that pain , I don't wanna go through that agony all over again ...cause that's how it ends and I hate this ending
ihavenoidea
no I haven't
ihavenoidea
we were never in a relationship
ihavenoidea
it was always me who fell for that good but not so good guy
David6124
This has happened to you before?
ihavenoidea
yes hence the "hell loop"
David6124
You said you guys were never in relationship so you guys are currently friends and he doesn't have feelings for you?
ihavenoidea
we were friends that's how things started and I fell I love and instead of confessing I ghosted him and bam he fell in love with another girl , that broke me but I was okay and we didn't talk for like 2 years or something and I thought I had moved on but a few months back I gotta see him again and it all came back but this time we had a very good time together man he literally flirted with me and bam again there came another girl into his life
ihavenoidea
I never told him I loved or love him but trust me he knew that even the last time but he chose to break me
David6124
Was there a reason for you to ghost him that time?
ihavenoidea
yeah , cause it was hard to accept the fact that I loved him ps I didn't want my parents to doubt me
David6124
So overall if I'm summing it all up, you fell in love for a guy 2 yrs back, you guys were close, you never confessed but your feelings were obvious, he mightve noticed but you ghosted him completely. Someone approached him in the same time, they got into relationship. 2 years later you meet again. Your feelings resurfaced. He also showed interest. But then he got into relationship with another girl.
David6124
But you tried this time right? You said you had a good time, no ghosting and all. So how the girl got into his life suddenly? Did he tell you that hes seeing another girl or did you trigger some red flag during your time with him like telling him you ghosted him back then because of...
ihavenoidea
there's a little more to this ..this started 5 years back and we were very good friends and yeah the ghosting drama and all that and few months back ig last Oct we saw again and the falling in love again part. The first it was obvious that he had 0 feelings and this time it wasn't obvious cause we were so close , like best friends..3 am texts going out my brother was also there lol and so many and when I told him I won't talk to him he was like you still mad at me anoll that...and suddenly I felt as if he was moving apart and that feeling was true and now back to strangers who don't hate each other ...
ihavenoidea
so yeah right, I tried
David6124
Before asking anything else I have to ask you one question
ihavenoidea
yeah sure
David6124
Do you love yourself?
ihavenoidea
yes I do ! I do love myself
ihavenoidea
and I don't hate myself for loving him cause there's no reason for me to hate myself for that , it's just idk
David6124
Good. Cause most of us don't. That's the main issue for everything. Personally I myself don't love myself. Anyway back to your topic, you told him this time you love him verbally?
ihavenoidea
nope
ihavenoidea
and the cliche reason is that I was scared of losing our friendship
David6124
so when u said you tried, you were talking about the texting, talking openly, sharing everyday things n all only, just like normal friends
ihavenoidea
yeah kinda but it was obvious and he knew cause my eyes spoke and he heard
David6124
there could be a chance that he didn't respond to that cause last time you suddenly ghosted him like that without reason and assuming he doesn't even know why you did that last time do you think he will jeopardize your friendship thinking "Maybe I'm reading too much, she sees me as a friend. I don't want to ruin things between us".
ihavenoidea
nah cause the last time too he knew that I loved him , I hate to say this but I'm not even sure if he noticed that I ghosted him
ihavenoidea
he even said sorry for not having feelings for me ...man what am I supposed to do with a sorry
David6124
He didn't notice that you ghosted him?
ihavenoidea
yeah ig , why would he
David6124
You guys were working together or studying together or neighbors at that time or met through ig
ihavenoidea
he was my senior my brother's friend, a great athlete
ihavenoidea
the meeting and knowing part is a whole another story
David6124
Oh. If you haven't told then how did he came to say, sorry I don't have feelings for you
ihavenoidea
like I said it was obvious and one day I asked him if I had ever proposed him and he replied"he had seen the notification where I texted him that I loved him" and when talked further he apologised
David6124
He didn't say the reason? Is it cause you're his friend's sister?
ihavenoidea
the reason for what? whatever it is idt it is because I'm his brother's sis
