I am a third year medical student. In the past three months I am having anxiety attacks and feeling restless.I have been abused physically as a child by my uncle.that horrible memory resurfaced about three years ago,since then I am finding excuses to let go of that event and my perpetrator by thinking he wouldn't have done if he hasn't been intoxicated by alcohol. I have been avoiding him like a plague but recently he got married and I couldn't avoid him there.just the sight of him brought all the anguish and grudge out.i had a breakdown after the marriage.at some point of time I wished something bad would happen to him but I hate myself that I stooped that low. I have developed a fear for males. I couldn't make a single male friend in college. I have tried making friends online but all the guys I came across were perverts ; this increased my disgust towards males. I tried talking to my dad but he said to leave it ,it happened so many years back it doesn't matter now.after that I didn't have the guts to raise the topic again.all the unresolved anger is eating me up. I feel pressured to bring up my younger brother with all the morals and values and to not ruin any other girl's life. I am an overthinker, so this pandemic doesn't help at all. I ghosted everyone. I am getting triggered by very small matters. I just want to end all this pain and hatred. I thought of consulting a psychiatrist but my parents would pry into it. I don't want them to feel like they failed as parents as I am about to confide to a stranger.please help me.