confused about intimate relationship with partner
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Me n my bf are in a relationship of 9 years, first 4 to 5 years was long distance thn we are in same city .. Thn the next 2 years due to my competition exam we used to meet but less .. But now these 2byearsbwe are meeting oftenly the thing is he wants to have physical relationship ..see kissing having romance r ok we have physical relationships but in limits like no sex till now I have tried to convince him that I m not mentally ready I m afraid of it a way too much I cant bear the pain so he waited 1 year but now hes saying he cant wait anymore ... But I dont want to have sex I mean I m so afraid of that pain I have to bear during sex the second thing is I m afraid if our family will not get ready for our marraige then ... During texting these days he just mostly talks about sex and making plans about how will we manage it ... Should I have sex with him I mean I will feel guilt after having sex .. Its mu mindset or what I dont know but what if we will not be married then it will cause harm to my next relationship ... See I am not sure marraige is because I am doing mbbs n hes preparing for bank exams .. We love each other so much but what if parents denied we are having the same home town my mom n her mom knows each other and having ego clash they dont like each other that's why I am afraid tell me should I have sex with him or not

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