Hi I'm currently studying law and I've been feeling like changing my degree even thought I have always wanted to do law. I do not expect anybody to understand why I'm feeling to not continue this degree. But not only i don't feel the same enthusiasm I had for this field of study that I had in September. I dislike every single law course. For me to say my fav course is the science one shows alot since I never liked science.. It is not that I don't understand the content is just that I don't want to anymore and idk why. I think it has to do with my mental health and if you know me well you'd know that I don't understand what goes on in my head (in simpler terms I don't think my brain operates how it should) i am a very indecisive person I don't like making decisions cuz when I do I always change my mind. Physically my body is under so much stress that I didn't choose to be under. I get sick even faster now. I get weak so fast. I dont even want to get off of bed anymore. Before I would sit by my desk for class I can't even move and bc of that I can't seem to focus because I don't like what I'm doing. I don't know specifically what I like and don't like bc im a business student essays is what I'm used to...applying knowledge is what I'm used to but something in this degree ain't clicking for me.
For me to accept the fact that I need professional help shows that I rel gone through cuz im a girl who just use humor over accepting im going mad.
Cuz i am going crazy. People would say no you're not but ik I am. I'm slowly going off a ledge and I don't know what to do.
I don't know who to talk to bc the first thing ppl gonna do is judge you and I've been wrongfully judged my entire life and it sucks. I think what if I'm making a huge mistake but do I continue putting myself in this situation, is my body telling me to slow down bc not only do I have school stress I've got health problems and family issues and then this stupid pandemic just makes it worse. I close my eyes at night scared to sleep bc I think I'm going to die.
Everybody gonna say she couldn't handle it but thats definitely not what it is...I can but idk if I should. I've had 2 near death experiences in the last 2 years. 1 intentional and one not. I don't know what to do anymore.