I have decided on an end date to my life. Its been always such an exhausting journey. Too much of work to get very little in return. It drains my energy. I dn want to do it anymore. I am a doctor, i have pushed myself so hard all my life. I could never work the way i wanted to work. I could never be around people who made me comfortable. Always no matter how much i tried i am stuck in horrible conditions with horrible people. I am tired. I was always told i was not good enough(my mother was the one who always said it)even now aftr being a mordern medicine doctor i feel that i am not good enough in anyway possible. I hate this existence. I wanted to work in army or in ngo but dont have the opportunity coming from a conservative family. I dnt know why my parents wants me to stick around close to them even when they themselves repeatedly compare me and say i am not good enough. I am tired, exhausted. I am mentaly traumatised. I want to die. Wish i have a MI and die.its horrible bcz i feel guilty of dying too. Oh my god. Why you made me like this? Why?