depressed because of being alone and not married
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i just dont feel deserving of living. i have been alone all my life and things seems like they are getting worse. its like i have everything that i want but nobody to call me mine and no body except my aged parents to care about me. i am an only child . single .29. unemployed since February 2020. have no clue what i want from life. parents bug me each day to get married but all my previous relationships have all been void. men after sex and nobody wants to offer committment. and because of my 6 year confused toxic platonic relationship with a guy,i am hurt and scared as hell. the trauma is so bad that now i dont know to recognize when a decent guy offers commitment and i ended up rejecting him .he was inconsistent and never communicated with me until i initiated the conversation inspite of me telling him about my struggles of anxiety and depression. i trusted he would be there if not all guys i know. i recently got to know that he also got married .i dont know what to do

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