depressed because of mother being schizophrenia patient
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I'm new in this app.. so my mom is suffere with schizophrenia fer years back.. and now I have depression... I'm 18 year old preparing for my medical entrance exam but I'm not able to focus on study....I always feel very gloomy and blue...I always feel sad....I always breakdown into tears almost every day...I can't Tell my parents about it at all...ActuallyI never accept my mother as I always thought that I'm very unfortunate to have a mother like her who have schizophrenia....My whole family often makes fun of me..they thought that I'm weird..different and mentally sick..but probablythey are right...I don't know what I'm writing here...Im just not happy...I hate myself..I hate everything...I want to kill myself But I can't...because then everyone will think that I don't want to complete my studies so I died because of it...My mom never had tell me anything about female hygiene..I remember I used to always stain my skirt in school because at that time I really don'tknow about periods and all stuff...and now I can't interact with any one socially as I am afraid....I really feel upset....I have been in depression for about 10 months already....please someone help me.....I don't have any motivation at all....😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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