so basically I'm super depressed and self harmed a number of times and contemplated suicide a lot too. I'm in this grey area where i neither want to live nor die. i hate myself and am super insecure, and i hate how i give up things even before they get started. i hate how i look, and of course, my self esteem issues keep feeding off of my misery. and i also have social anxiety, and i do not know how to deal with it alone. so um. anyways. like. is there a way i can find the will to live and accomplish tasks in daily life without being in fatigue 24/7?