differences in relationship

Question

I am really confused and worried. My bf and I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 3years.The first 2years were really good, but since last year there had been many issues communication gaps, taking for granded etc. Once we had a big fight and thought we almost broke up. Then later patched it up. But things were not the same. In between we still had fights and arguments and almost lost the love and connection. We spoke to eachother awkwardly over phone for many days. Later one day we met we spoke a lot about the issues, decided we will communicate properly and thought everything was going back to normal. After that meetup he called and told that he wanted to confess that he had a crush on his girl best friend while we were having issues. I couldn't believe it. He said he knew it was a horrible idea and dropped it then and there. He wanted to let me know and be honest. The worst part, she also liked him that way. Ever since that I am paranoid and possessive. Need help

Pushpa · Answer

relax babe 🥺 it's owky if it's not owky today bcz there is always tomorrow ✌️

Solitude · Answer

I am worried 😔 don't know what to do exactly. I know he is being honest and it was just a thought he had. But it affects me so much. I feel like its all my fault. If I hadn't fought with him he wouldn't have had these thoughts😑

cautiousBass5 · Answer

I am sorry to hear that. I believe it's time for you to let go. I know it isn't easy but hopefully time heals your wounds.

Solitude · Answer

I am not sure about it. Don't know if I should let go off him like that or should I forgive and move forward?? he is being completely honest and admits his mistake. But I am not able to get rid of the thought.

cautiousBass5 · Answer

why don't you move near him to try to salvage the relationship?

Solitude · Answer

Moving near to him is not possible now since we both are pursuing our undergraduate degrees from 2 different states nearly 600kms away😑 Atleast for another one year even meeting often is not possible.

cautiousBass5 · Answer

oh damn. why don't you talk and figure out what you want from the relationship?

Solitude · Answer

We spoke about it several times and we both want eachother itself, but its the thought that he had feelings for another person even for a very short span that bothers me😔 Is it normal or am I overthinking or being possessive??

cautiousBass5 · Answer

I would feel the same thing if my partner had feelings for someone else.. Probably it will bother me for a long time..

Solitude · Answer

Thank you for understanding my feelings. It means a lot. If u think u have any solutions to make me stop worrying please do share

cautiousBass5 · Answer

right now all you could do is try to talk often, whenever you fight, try to know the root cause of the fight and sort it out. once you graduate, you can live near him and hopefully your relationship survives the storm. I wish the best for you 😊

Solitude · Answer

thank u so much ♥️ hopefully everything will become normal again.

cautiousBass5 · Answer

take care of yourself. 😊

Shreya12 · Answer

I just want to tell you that, even after marriage, a couple goes through million issues. sometimes the only hope you have is yourself. you realise that your life is yours and no one can own it . you find solace in this thing. so let it be. let people find their own things . be In the flow

SoftH · Answer

Hi i feel you my dear,i have the same situation now,i get lost i dont know what to do but what think i know is i deserve the best

Shreya12 · Answer

I totally agree that it's difficult to focus on right things when you face such relationship problems. but make a conscious effort to focus on yourself. whoever deserves you will reach you soon...

i am an immature person so don't judge me i am mental patient

hello

Frustrating

help me please