I can’t do this Anymore I have tired for so long and still no one knows that I cry myself to sleep all the f up things I have done but I actually can’t do this anymore I can’t I put on a fake smile and I fool everyone and I really that good at it? Or just don’t they care? Do they even care about me? These thought never go away they haunt me even really disturbing thoughts I get and I enjoy them it’s the only thing these days that being me joy I lost my dad he Left me like he just walk away, what did I do to make him leave? Am I really that bad of a person? I shouldnt said those awful things to him when we had a disagreement? Why did I do this? And I lost my bsf literally just before, and it’s all my fault some how it’s always me that’s the bad guy and I just don’t see it but I feel it no one understand me they just agree to make me shut up and say I just always complain and I’m such a sock or I need to grow ip it doesn’t help me it make things worse cause than more thoughts come saying I’m not worth it I’m just ungrateful I actually have nothing to live for nothing I can’t do this anymore I actually hate it so much and it’s never going to get better it’s always going to be like thing always and I’m so sick or tired of it and I cant