Today i feel drained.Been dealing with depression my whole life and mostly keep to myself cause if i breakdown everyone saus im mad or playing victim( especially my parents) . I'm not sure i can pass their expectations and just wanna know how to live. Recently feel so lost like im staring at blank pages wgen studying, thinking of death everyday and hoping i die soon cause everyone at my age is doing better and i know if i fail I'll be tossed to the curb. Can't stop crying and too scared to sleep.I know no one can really help me now but atleast feeling a bit sober talking out.