i just started eating again for once. i was clean for months and then i started selfharming again. i think about running aqay and/or killing myself all the time. my boyfriend doesnt understand how much words hurt and that i have anxiety depression and more. i overthink alot. i dont sleep anymore. i start work in a few days and have to get up for work at 6 am but the problem is that i dont go to sleep till 7 or 8 am. i have these dreams where i hang myself but then i get up and realize it was just a dream and get even more depressed. i just wanna end it. ive been trying for two years but nothing will work.