emotional distress because of failed relationship

Anxiety

Relationship Issues

I going through a kind of emotional distress that I definitely need help for. I was in a relationship for past 5 years and I felt so unwanted and unvalued for a long time and it was me who was fighting and forcing to hold back the relationship. After certain stage it was normal but I was totally fed up of trying and exhausted that I started expecting from partner.. but less did I receive any attention or expressing love.. but I really like him and also feared that I will end up desperate. I started losing interest because I constantly heard so negative about me blaming me and I found valued or happy when even a small compliment comes from others. So with the desperate state I happened to meet another person who approached me and valued me a lot and I found him equal to my interest and full fill all my desperation. But I was so confused whether that was right for me or not and I couldn't leave my partner. So I din decide . Meanwhile I felt the new person was using my situation and manipulatimg me and at times I was misguided by my thoughts that I fell for his words or care I Don know if it's fake or not.. and my partner tght I was cheating but I was actually confused. At the same time worries that I was going wrong but felt like a trap I couldn't move. Now I came out of it .. I'm trying to explain my partner and frnds that I fell into wrong hands my thoughts was not in my hand but they see me as a cheater. But I'm not I was strong all these years and the longing for care made me fall for wrong hands.. now I'm feeling damn guilty for this and being close and that is haunting me badly. I have now become a reason for the breakup even though my partner came with breakup for no reason. I realised my mistake for being vulnerable but since my partner and frnds are not talking I feel very guilty for my mistakes for being with a person where I lost my mind completely. I feel ashamed of ir. I need help to come out of this feeling of being stupid and want to sort it make my partner and get back happy. Plz do help me

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2 Answers

hansa_shaunik

We all seeked to be valued and loved by our significant others. It can be deeply painful when we don't feel wanted in a relationship. I would urge that you try to focus on exercising self compassion and building a strong sense of self. From your account it seems that you often find yourself feeling confused and uncertain, even stuck unable to take action. This is a very common feeling when we don't value or respect ourselves. It tends to make us feel disconnected from ourself and not be able to think through our actions. Here are a few things that can help you heal from this: 1. Exercise self love and compassion. 2. Focus on your own personal growth. 3. Forgive yourself. 4. Try to articulate for yourself what is important for you in a relationship. 5. It's understandable that you would feel guilty. But try not to give into shame. You were in a bad place and you ended up making bad choices that. That doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human. Forgive yourself. 6. If possible, seek therapy. Alot of what you're struggling with stems from a low sense of self and a fear of abandonment. It may help to work through this with a professional. I hope this helps.

Lonewolf

In a relationship, if one person loves the other more than the other, it doesnt work. You can't forget those 4 years but you will have to accept that if he can live without you, you definitely can. You will have to learn to live with the fact that some people are just temporary. Even if theyre in your life for like 4 years. And they're not worth it. There are like so many people out there in the world. Initially youll be disturbed. But youll be even more if you keep thinking about it. Keep yourself super busy. Be career oriented. And the satisfaction youll get at the end of the day with a successful career, will be worth far far far more than a boy who broke your heart.

i am an immature person so don't judge me i am mental patient

Frustrating

help me please

how do I change for the better?