What is the definition of a close friend/best friend? I have the following criterias of a close/best friend. Let me know if I am expecting too much from a close/best friend. 1-Should be in contact as much possible. Efforts from both sides should be there. 2-Must ask if the other person wants to join for activites that can be done together, for example, ' if you are going to gym, then inform the other person 5-10 mins before leaving so that we can go together and return together' or ' if you are going to market then let me know'. 3-if you need any help, then you must inform your close friend first, most of the times. 4-Definitely ask before going to mess to have lunch, dinner in hostel. 5-Randomly drop in others room just to pass some time, disucssing things and stuffs. 6-When you move away, then the above points aren't necessary but still we can decide to meet each other once in few years and must contact each other atleast once in 6 moths. Also invite friends for your marriage or any big event. 7-Apart from 1-6, we definitely respect each other & help each other. Is expecting these from your bestfriend/closefriend okay? Or is it too much obession?

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It's not mandatory to always call u for mess.

Contact all the time? Bruh ure not his gf.

@david, okay bro, As we discussed I am giving him space and following whatever you said. This is what I used to think earlier. it seems more like an obsession which is wrong from my part

@David, 🤣🤣, Okay, I see I am being too much sensitive, lol

In PhD each person's work n all determines their free time. sometimes you have to stay more or less. Can't always ping u up when he'd be free.if he tells u just before leaving also can't u just get ready n go. why ure crying about it. for us guys it barely takes 10 min to get ready for gym

hmm

I'll leaving the app for a few days. Tc of yourself. Don't overthink. If there's anything shravi will be here. you can talk to her. Gn bro

I agree with @david. Also your best friend isn't obliged to inform you before going to the gym or market or mess. Sometimes we as individuals need space of our own to define ourselves. And that includes doing some of our stuff without involving our best friend which is totally alright.

Thanks a lot @david and @tomatoe7 for clearing also good night @david

it's like Sheldon and his contract for friendship/roommate/ marriage! you know.. from the big bang theory

can i ask you something?

@recovering_babe pls ask.

Why did make the list?

you*

recovering babe, I don't know. I don't like the way to converse in a paragraph. Also if I make a lists, then it will be easier to refer a particular point. for example from point 4 bla bla bla.

I'm referring to the ENTIRE list. why did you make it? you can answer it step by step as a list with the reasons you thought a list needed to made for a daily interaction of a friend(s)

I don't know what exactly you are asking. I had the following points in mind. so I just mentioned all of them. instead of a para I choose to go with a list.

okay.. I understand

why not be the kind of friend you want to the ones around you? instead of making a list?

I am also being a good friend to them. I don't know how much they like that. I am trying my best to be the best person they met ever. Rest is upto them. I would have been happier to know if they feel the same but its not possible. its upto how they feel and its not in my control.

like your point 4... why do you expect your friend to ask you? just ask them yourself daily for breakfast lunch and dinner!

also I made a list for this specific purpose of asking here only. I don't have any such lists before typing this post

it's okay.. just answer me.. why wait to be asked? why don't you just ask your friend before going?

@recovering_babe, I can do that. But what if I always get to hear NO from their side?What if they find it uncomfortable? What if they Don't want to go with me? what if they find it creepy? What if they get bored eventually? Also as @david mentioned its better to give some space.

also I asked him to come for market with me. He told me no he won't go today. I felt bad for a moment but already let it go. I assumed he is busy with gym or too tired and sleepy.

sounds like you're not good with handling rejection...

yes

okay... verbal communication and all these expectations are setting you up for failure and possible hurt

do you realize that?

yes

sorry for late response. The new comments were loading that time

no issues.. do you really want to put yourself through all the pain of he MIGHT say no, he might get uncomfortable, he might see you as a creepy dude or n number of other possibilities??

I think I am at peace now. I really don't want to puts a lot of efforts either. When I was doing that there was no effort from his side. Now when I have stopped putting efforts, he had initiated conversation twice or thrice which was a rare sight earlier.

also I would prefer to keep my own self-respect rather than sticking to him everytime. If he is close, then he will stay and put efforts, if not then he doesn't deserve it tho. Also I am interacting with him well when he is doing.

yeahh.. pay attention to non verbal cues and do things conditionally without expecting anything. it'll save you from all the frustration and possible pain. Also do not pull away immediately. be conditional. Good Luck sweetie!!