I don't know whats happening with me let me tell you about my self and whats happening with me I have a drunked father used to beat me and my mother as I grow up I my self got addicted to some substances I got in love with a girl she betrayed me I don't know what happened to me I start drinking alcohol and other substance on daily basis got angry more often got in a crime spend some time in jail when I came back to my home my new neighbors started talking with me got attached to that neighbor girl she told me to go and work with her I worked a month with her when I came back home the same evening she came to my house at night with police and told the cops that I lived with her 1 month and now that I have to marry her , my family got stressed and my mom told me to marry that girl to avoid jail . I married her was happy came to know that the girl I have married was a call girl and her sisters are involved in the escort business too . so I drink so much and slashed my wrist with knife all the veins and tendons in my left hand got cut I survived some how lost mobility in my hand the girl told me she was sorry and never do that again but whenever she go to her house I think she does her work as call girl . but I can't divorce her because I know she will cause trouble to my family . I some how managed to get a job with my handicapped hand and then the 2021 lockdown happen I am now in home like everybody else . my family financial condition is so bad and when ever I think about all this things that happen with me and still happening I feel like suside . but I think about my parent as I am there only child please tell me what should I do 🙏🙏