Hello there, so yesterday I celebrated new year with my family. I was happy and all but when I saw my parents enjoying and laughing. I get this weird feeling and a string of sadness attached. What if I don't get to have this again. I know I should be in present and being paranoid for nothing but I can't help it. I was happy and enjoying but the videos said differently. It seemed like I was just smiling and not enjoying openly but that was not the case. I don't know, quite complex it is.