Feeling stressed, angry, sad and low, all at the same time

Question

I feel very stressed and depressed about a lot of things in my life. I am a 27 yo guy from India, there are certain things in my life that have shaped me to be the way I am today. I had a very troubled childhood because of my father who was an alcoholic. I grew up to be a very short tempered person because of that. I have no support from any relatives, or anyone on any matter. I have a lot of responsibilities at home including my elder sister's marriage which gets cancelled due to some issue or the other, due to which I feel stressed and sometimes I shout at my mom or sister when they aren't listening to me. I feel like a really bad son and brother. I feel really guilty and sad that I am not doing enough for them. I feel heaviness in my mind all the time. Am I a really bad person? please help me I want to feel better, I want to change. I feel sad and low all the time.

Trojan005 · Answer

I can relate bro, but by shouting it will be no help ...learn some new skill apart from job that can help u too grow more.

wannabenormal · Answer

Thanks for replying, I am learning a new skill. I know shouting won't help which is why I feel really guilty whenever I get angry on my mom or sister. I want to control my anger, but I am sometimes unable to, specially when I see the pressure of household things piling up on me. I want my sister to do well in life and when she doesn't do anything for that, I just can't control my anger and scold her. I do feel guilty about it because my voice is really loud during that and I say things in anger which I really shouldn't

alertchile0 · Answer

Hii, i understand what you are going through. You think that you are short tempered because of your past, but do you think your past is your present? Now you need not to be that person you were in your past...things have changed and you will have to change. You feel you havee too many responsibilities, share it with people and trust people around you, that they will take care of it. Don't you think you get overwhelmed with these responsibilities and then you blow up. I think you need to share these responsibilities and have trusted people around. And the more you will make yourself feel the ease, more you will released from this responsibility overwhelmingness. And feel free to express, not just your agression but also your guilt if you feel sorry, at times. Don't tie yourself up.

Trojan005 · Answer

Well no gonna listen what u said , it's your action that be determined u gave urself some time and word hard and be better where u are right now and ur sister will follow ur footsteps.

wannabenormal · Answer

@alertchile0 Hi, I do express whenever I feel guilty about saying things I shouldn't have. And by saying I have a short tempered because of my past I mean to say that I wasn't always this way, but the things happening as a kid to me just piled up and made me a very grumpy short tempered person, no matter how hard I tried to get rid of getting angry. Also, my family has no one else's support except of me so I can't take anyone else's help because of that.

wannabenormal · Answer

@trojan005 She's older to me but she's carefree and lazy. My mom is really pressurised about her marriage. I told my sister to either study or lose some weight in order to get married because of the way how it works in Indian matchmaking, obese people aren't looked up to much. I want my sister to be independent because of that but she doesn't care. which is why I get really pissed on her most of the times

alertchile0 · Answer

Then what does she want to do? Does she wants to get married?

wannabenormal · Answer

@alertchile0 yes she does, she wants things to happen in her life but she won't work hard to achieve them. which is why I get angry at her most of the times and scold her. but then I also feel guilty that maybe I am being way to difficult or strict on her but whatever I do or say to her is for own good.

alertchile0 · Answer

Ok. So, if she doesn't want to work hard she won't get what she wants. Maybe you have taken it as your responsibility to even make her do things in life...but you and she should understand that it is her life and her responsibility to work for it. However she will do, she will bear it, whether it's good or bad. And you are the person who can just support, at max you can invite rishtas and give her advice, rest all she have to do for her own good.

Recovering_babe · Answer

your guilt proves you're a good person. and as a male I realise the responsibilities lie on you.. but you have to take care of your mental health as well. remember that first and foremost.

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