First let's try to find the root of the problem, the reason that make you feel like this.

I don't know actually. Nothing like that happend lately. I just ger frustrated so easily and I feel like everybody is against me. I don't know how to get to the root. And I don't know how to make me feel better. I feel so sad everytime I fight with someone. I feel like it's my fault all the time. I don't know what to do anymore. 😶

Thing like this often related with our past, so just take it slowly, everytime you feel like that, ask yourself, what make you feel like this. And slowly try to connect the dots as much as you can

let me ask you, how do I keep the routine going and how to make one. I have a baby and I feel like a terrible mother too because I don't have a routine, I get up when I do, I go out with him when I feel like it and thats not okay. I feel bad cause I feel like I'm not doing much.

there you have it..the reason why you are upset. You feel you are not doing enough and therefore you are not satisfied with yourself. Maybe you can change things in your lifestyle and the way you deal with everything around you. Little by little steps can help you a lot I think

But why do I keep pushing people away when they are just trying to help. And I feel like I'm a burden to everybody.

maybe you just don't want people interference in your life..? But reacting in appropriate way is totally under your control

I just feel like there is no help. I don't know how to help myself. I know I'm not reacting appropriate but I can't control myself. I just start yelling and everthing goes down the hill after.

Your behavior is in your control and it always will be. The thing is you must think it is ok and you don't need to change or don't want to...to behave like this

I want to change. I just sometimes want to die but I can't do it becauze of my child. he's the only thing holding me back. Not my husband or may mom or sister. My son.

But bro why do you want to die? You just have make little changes in yourself and be much more happier ...actually just need to change your perception.

because I feel like I can't do it by myself and if I ask for help they keep saing that I'm fine, I don't need any help ect. I can't cope with this by miself. There is so much more stuff but I don't want to annoy you.

you can take help from a therapist if you can and also you are not annoying me

i tried that I went for a year and a half and it didn't do me any good well I felt better for a couple of days and than it was all the same. I had therapy once a month. I go once in a while just to talk and sau thingd out loud so I hear it's stupid but i feel fine for a couple of days and than its all the same... I don't have anyone to talk to, I have maybe 2 frends and they live hours away my family is just I don't have words, when I talk they never listen cause they are doing something else. I go out to get a cup of coffee with my mom and shes on her phone.. I just want someone to talk to and to understand you know

ya totally it's natural you expect people's care and attention and you can be hurt but these things will not always happen. If in previous meeting your mother was busy with phone maybe in next she won't and same for your friends. Maybe you are disheartened with everything thing right now, find something that makes you happy maybe

yeah I know... I know I have to work on myself... I just dont have any will..

Are you on any type of birth control?

no I'm not why?