give me solution

Question

I have a problem which is increasing day by day.. I had a friend (guy friend). once upon a time we were very good friends sort of best friends..he started developing feelings for me..but I had feelings for someone(my boyfriend) and he knew about it..but I didn't disclose him about my boyfriend as I didn't want to loose him.but due to some misunderstanding we had a fight and we stopped talking..then after 1 year of gap he texted me back .and we used to chat normally..but I started hearing rumours that I am playing with feelings of boyfriend and also with the feelings of guy friend but he( guy friend) already know I have a boyfriend..then why people are thinking like this..they are telling I m characterless..and now a days I m very much worried about what others think of me..I cared a lot what others say about me...and this is increasing day by day giving me anxiety attack...please someone help me..what should I do?

innocentOtter9 · Answer

I think you should not focus on this thing and be clear of your stand with both the guys in your life.

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

can u explain what u exactly mean? how can I do this?

meg9250 · Answer

I've been there before and trust me, ppl's opinion aint worth it. i used to clarify a lot..like..the fact that i did nothing n stuff..and even though ppl believed my words, they still played w my feelings and reputation just for fun UNTIL i stopped paying attention to them and their words (it took me a lot of time to stop caring abt/paying attention to their sh!tty opinions)

meg9250 · Answer

also, if you have a feeling that your guy friend is the reason why you're going through all of this... I'd suggest you to cut him off...you might miss him n stuffs and that's okay but you gotta do what you gotta do.

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

how should I cut him off? I don't know why but I am always reluctant to cut him off..I guess deep down I don't want him to loose..and I want only to loose him if he makes a gf..coz he is very very very much attracted to me..I want if he has someone then I can cut it off ...I just want to be with him as I m with my other friends isn't it possible?

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

and how u dealt with people opinions? like u did meditation or something?

meg9250 · Answer

stop caring abt HIS feelings when YOURS is in 🚩danger zone🚩 rn BECAUSE OF HIM. i had a friend whom i never wanted to lose but i really had to cuz at that time, he was the reason why i was going through bad stuffs...i too was reluctant to cut him off..i cried for a few days after this whole thing but everything quickly got better after i kicked him out of my life.

meg9250 · Answer

meditation aint my thing. all i did was cry-cry-cry (for three whole years) and then i realised that crying is pointless and i gotta take an action...AND i did take actions but nothing seemed to work. i was so fed up that i gave up on ppl and their opinions. basically, i stopped caring...and that's when ppl got bored of it and stopped messing with me cuz they we're getting any fun reaction out of me :)

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

how can I stop caring about his feelings?

meg9250 · Answer

in order to stop caring abt his feelings, start caring abt yours. put yourself first.. basically something that people call being selfish..sometimes you gotta care abt YOURSELF and ONLY YOURSELF..for your OWN SAKE.

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

I always think..next time I wont msg me..I will ignore him..but as soon as he msgs me..I text him immediately..I can't stop myself..and the day he doesnot msg me..I text him...and I was so close to him that I used to share everything...all these things my boyfriend knows and he supports too..but u suggest what should I do?

meg9250 · Answer

glad your boyfriend is cool. anyways, text that dude i aint stable enough to talk to you..yk im going through a lot n i need time and peace or smth like that. be nice, be calm, ghost him. it'll hurt for a days maybe but you'll get over it soon..trust me on that.

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

okiieee...thank you so much..for having this conversation...I m feeling better..❤️

obsessedBasmati3 · Answer

hope this works for me!!✌️

meg9250 · Answer

it will DEFINITELY WORK. you just have to be strong and put yourself first. there's nothing wrong with being selfish if your actions aint hurting others.

pluckyAbalone7 · Answer

you r your person I have a lot of guy friends and it creates a lit of rumours but that doesn't mean I will stop being friends with my friends just be yourself and ppl who trust will understand

meg9250 · Answer

she literally said that she cares abt what other's say abt her..and even if she didnt care abt others' opinions- it's still hard to tolerate all this crap (ppl's comments and opinions)..cuz I've been in the same situation and ik how it feels.

meg9250 · Answer

oh yeah also...(i think I've said this already..imma say it again) dont leave your guy friend until you feel like he's the reason why you're in this messed up situation rn

pluckyAbalone7 · Answer

well I used to care about what others think I had lost a lot of friends cause of rumours but my best friend made me learn to ignore them

I am not fit for anyone

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