things aren't getting better I just found out my friend has probably been shit by some people my family had been having problems with and then my girlfriend and I are in a complicated position. this is why I can't get close to anyone nothing good comes out of it and me and my 2 other siblings goes away for a while and my mom tells me my friend mighta been the who was shot and then Im trying to get my shit together and finish school and get a job I'm trying so hard to forget about the time I've been sexually harassed while I was half asleep but I keep dreaming about it and the only reason I don't say anything is because I'm not sure if it happened or a dream and it's constantly frustrating me and then everything else is to hard to deal with my girlfriend trys to be there for me but her family gives her a hard time as it is and my family can't handle a certain amount before collapsing and I'm sick of it I tried to clear my head by deleting all my social media's and getting away but it also makes me anxious about my family and I'm constantly on guard and on edge around everybody one wrong word or move my anxiety triggers sometimes I shake,cry black out, pass out and it gotten worse where I even started throughing up from my anxiety and I just want to get better but I can't go to anyone and right now I'm on break with my girl it's is confusing I had so many mental breakdowns where it's getting to the point where I'm numb when I cry it last for 1 to 2 minutes I barely care less about others and I'm just so close to locking my self in my room and never coming out because everyone around me seems to be getting bad luck and it hurts to see them in pain and I feel like sometimes I cause it.......