In the year 2020, I had a miscarriage,so I quit my stressful job to take care of my deteriorating health and to plan again. In few months, I got the good news again, however,last year, I suddenly lost my father and due to last days of my pregnancy, I could not fly to my hometown for the rituals. I had not met my parents for past 2 years. I was no more excited for this new born baby but could only pity him. I thought with time, I will find strength to cope up but instead my newborn fell very ill and after few months he was again hospitalized for some rare illness in ICU. Right now, I have lost all my confidence, my guilt to not able to meet my father till the end is growing, I feel pity for the baby but it feels whatever I do, it's not enough, I am jobless, I only feel depressed, sometimes just hopelessly counting on days to pass. Have anyone faced a similar situation and how did you cope up?