guilt of being unable to fulfil parent's expectation

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guilt of being unable to fulfil parent's expectation

Hi!I am a neet aspirant.its not like I am very bad at study.i know if I study seriously I know I will qualify neet.but in my family everyone is pushing me to medical career.they are behaving like there is no future if I don't become a doctor. I also myself don't know what I like to do,I mean I have no idea which career I want. from childhood my father told me after+2 I have to qualify neet and have to become a doctor but I have no idea I want it or not. I just want any normal job with which I can live independently. but my father wants me to be a doctor. it was dream to become a doctor.but due to circumstances he couldn't.but I meant, why don't u consider my choice,I mean did he give birth to me so that I can fulfill his unfulfilled dream.but I have also got a life and dream .I am already 18 and I am treated like a child.the more everyone wants me to be a doctor, the more I don't want to.please..give me some advice,many times I even think of running away from house, but at last moment I always hesitate.i know it may be simple from others opinion,but from my point of view I even wants to suicide sometimes,I even tried but whenever I think of the happy moments with my family I don't wanna.but when it comes to study matter........so please I will be greatful if anyone can help me.

Littlmo

5 Answers

Zoya Ahmad

Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I am sure you must be feeling really confused. It’s okay to not know what we actually want to do in life, do you have any other career options in mind other than doctor? If you’ve invested yourself in studying biology in 11th and 12th try to give being dr a shot, you never know you might also have a calling for this profession. You would not know unless you explore. On the other hand you shouldn’t only have one option. Make a list of other career options. Try to talk to your parents that you want to explore other options as well. Tell them that this pressure is only making things worse for you. Try to be calm, i think you have anger towards your father, I can understand sometimes parents wish becomes a burden on us. Try to make them understand. Leaving everyone or home isn’t an option rather try top resolve the conflict. It will be more beneficial for your career. Parents are your support system.

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Thanks ma'am . it's true I have anger towards my father.so everytime I try to talk to him,if he says something against my opinion I get angry and the conversation ends there. everytime it happens.i also have got anger management issues.i get angry very easily with little things.and also when I am angry I think I loss my mind.i don't even think what's right or wrong and says rude words to everyone. Although after I became calm I sometimes apologize or pretend like nothing happened but I know it hurts them.so ma'am please kindly advice me about my anger issues.because it's also a reason I can't hold conversation with anyone.

Anger management is a process, it can’t be managed like this. It’s good that you have acknowledged your anger issue. Try to practice meditation. And pause before you say anything, for like 5 seconds. Reframe your sentence in your mind and then say. Think before acting that what will the consequences be.

Thanks for your help. I recently made up my mind and started to study seriously but I am not that good at chemistry and physics. I am only strong at biology.so after seeing my results father said that there is no hope for me. I know I have some fundamental mistake but I need some time and I will definitely do good. But it seems like father doesn't have any hopes for me. My sisters are saying that I am being a burden. I said I need some time but it seems they don't even have trust in me. I am feeling suffocated in this family. When I try to study seriously I am getting mocked by either father or sisters. Actually I was in love with someone a year ago. But my father found out and then I also find that the boy was two timing with me. I can say it was the only mistake I have done in my life. But after that no one even trusts me . It also took a long time for me to forget that relationship and move forward. But now that I have completely forgotten that issue my family members are relating that thing with my study. I don't know what to do when there is not even family support. I can't even sleep at night. Father even said that he has given up on me.please help me it's very depressing.

I think you should make them sit with you and you should express how you feel and tell them that you have been feeling vulnerable and want their support. You are ready to work hard. You’re sorry about what happened but you are looking forward to studying hard. Also please try to have alternate plans. What do you really want to do? If not mbbs then what?

hello

Frustrating

help me please