I have been struggling with my mental health for almost 2years now. I am not at all having mental peace now. It's nothing new to me but this time it's harder. I have a few friends who thinks my mental health is silly and few who thinks I'm chill all the time and tell me their problems. I'm all ears for that but sometimes it makes me sad that I have never got a chance to open up to them because they always vent to me about their problems and I don't want to burden them with my mental health beacuse I think if I tell my problems to them they will pity me and stop sharing their problems with me and be in a sad state. I don't want them to be in a place where I'm in. So I always keep things within me because they don't show they care about that. But whenever they have a problem they come to me and not once showed they cared about me or asked me if i willing to hear their problem. This makes me sad and angry with everyone around me.
But ofcourse gratefully I have a few who are there for me and I will be there for them no matter how mentally fucked up I'm. I only care about them. (Beacuse they were with me made me feel my existence is valid)
So my problem now is I'm feeling guilty for not being there for friend who is now not in her best peace now. My other friends what to talk about this to me but as I said I'm not at all at peace now and I don't want to talk about that. No matter how much gulity I feel for not being there for her I can't help it because I can't think straight. I Just want someone to tell me what I'm experiencing now is okay and it's okay to take care of myself.
(The friend I now talked about never really showed she cares about me I don't blame her but that's why I don't feel like being there for her now. And I swear if I was mentally at peace I would have done everything possible to show her my support. And my other friends who come to me talk about here makes me sad because no one has ever come to me when I was sad)
ps: preety sure she have other friends who are supporting her
