i had a hard time to get my own existance remembered, for over 20 years i have more trauma from every possible sources such as family, school, and society, i was questioning myself like over and over, why would i born this way if people end up toy with me by alot, or maybe i was too kind not fighting back, but sometimes i have my mindset on another when it comes to friends, always putting myself in the lowest priority, i question myself why would i have an existances except helping, i tried to go to the church and it didn't help much, even worse, more trauma, i have more question to myself, but only one question that i should've asked to myself but i can't, did i try to dry myself until I'm out of existances? and i don't feels so much emotion like a lot from times to times