Holding up emotions for way too long
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Hey everyone, Hope all are doing fine. I don't know how to explain this feeling but I'm really tired of people looking at me with disappointed eyes. Parents, teachers, friends, my boyfriend. I know i mess up a lot, quite too much actually but I really do try. My current mental state has physically started affecting me so much that sometimes I can't even throw a word out of my mouth no matter how hard I try. I did open up about this to my parents, so desperate that I said I'm depressed even when i don't have a diagnosis, but they cared for a few days then everything got back to normal - they refused to acknowledge it. My boyfriend talks about our future plans about our careers and I know he does this to distract me but it gets me even more stressed thinking about how will i make life decisions when i can't even get out of my bed and i don't have any time left to procrastinate about the topic either. I really just want someone to look at me and my mess and tell me I'm not a disaster. I'm sorry this got too long and it's okay if you can't help me. I understand. I really just needed a space to vent. Anyways i hope you have a great day, thanks for reading this far

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