Greetings. I am 23 years old. I have inconsistent urge to maintain balance in my life, which include emotional and physical areas. My room is always a mess, I try to keep it clean at times and like it but then, lathargy along with deep rooted negetive emotions take over and I am unable to clean my room. Like months pass by and my room stays messed up. On contrary, I find this mess a little comforting as it fills my empty life with atleast something around me. I feel occupied and surrounded by objects that aren't forcing me to feel anything but at peace. This makes me comfortable. But my life is messed up. I have lost ALL my friends, realised they were pulling me down, I pushed away the man who loved me and wanted a healthy relationship with me, I have too many grudges and regrets from the past. Even if I try to compose my life even a little, all these toxicity in my mind makes me dull again and again. In short, I do not have the correct help I need to restart my life.
